You're My What! Gerard Way
by Chemically Unstable Disco
Summary: Jadis has never known her father. It was always her mum, her dog and her. But one afternoon when she's walking home from school, her friend Hailey shows her a newspaper article. The article explains that it is rumoured that My Chemical Romance are in town
1. A Day To Remember

1

A Day To Remember

"Jay!"

I spun around to see, my best friend, Hailey, running towards me; her long brown hair flowing out behind her. In her hand she was holding a piece of paper.

"Hey, Hailey. Sup?"

"Sup?!" She looked at me incredulously, "The most amazing thing in the world is happening! And all you can say is _sup_?!"

"What are you talking about?" I laughed.

"I thought you were in love with _My Chemical Romance_!"

"Yeah, so? Besides, I'm only 14! They're old enough to be my 'rentals! What does My Chem have to do with anything anyway? What's this amazing thing you're talking about?"

She rolled her eyes, and then thrust the paper into my hands. I looked down, read it, and nearly fainted.

"You can't be serious! What the hell would they be doing here?" I half screamed. Hailey had given me a newspaper article, which she had printed off the net. It said that _My Chemical Romance_ had been rumoured to be in Australia.

"I dunno, and I don't care. How cool is this?"

"Yeah, cool." I mumbled. My Chem were one of my favourite bands, but I'd _never_ seen them in concert; mum forbids it for some reason. I wasn't even allowed to listen to them; but that didn't stop me, of course. I checked my watch; mum had this thing about getting home by 4pm. Twenty minutes. Dang!

"Hailey, I've gotta be home in twenty minutes. Walk with me?"

"Sure!"

We reached my place with seconds to spare. I walked up my steep driveway and to my old, wooden, front door. I unlocked the door and walked in. Hailey was right behind me. The entire walk we had been making up ridiculous reasons why My Chem, if in Australia, was here.

"Mum?" I called out. The house was abnormally quiet, "Mum, I'm home!" My mother dutifully appeared at the top of the stairs. Her blonde hair was messed up, and she looked uncharacteristically nervous.

"Hi, Jadis. Good afternoon, Hailey. Hailey, I'm sorry, but I need to ask you to leave." Mum said to us.

I looked at Hailey, and she looked at me. Something was up. We both knew it.

"Is something wrong, mum? Did I do anything?"

"No no dear," I'd never seen mum as nervous and rattled as she was now. Even when I asked her about my father, she was never this uncomfortable. She flashed a glance toward the living room. What was going? It was always just mum, me and my dog. My dad had left mum when he'd found out she was pregnant with me. I'd never had a father. So who was she looking at in the lounge?

"Hailey," I whispered, "Go. I fill you in tonight on MSN."

Hailey glanced at my mum, then at me, and then headed back out the door. All our excitement about _My Chemical Romance_ possibly being in town, had faded instantaneously.

As the door clicked shut, behind me, I heard someone cough in the lounge. My heart started pounding against my ribs. Slowly I started up the stairs; mum's anxious expression, never changing.

The second I could, I looked into the living room space. I could only see the back of the big three person couch. In the place where I usually sat, half a head protruded from the top. It was a man: a man with black hair. His hand was on the arm rest. His skin was very pale.

My breath caught in my throat. Who was he? He seemed familiar, somehow. Why was he here? Why was mum so nervous about his presence? Mum! I looked back at her. She looked exhausted. I took her hand, and she led me forward, into the lounge.

Mum let my hand go. It fell to my side. I stood in the middle of our cramped living room, my back to the stranger in the chair.

"Hi, Jadis." The man said in an American accent. I knew that voice!

Unable to stand the suspense any longer, I spun around to face the mysterious male in my house. I froze. It couldn't be!

I felt my eyes bulge, the blood drain from my face, my heart skip a beat. My knees wobbled, and I grabbed mum's arm to stop me from falling. I stared at the ground, trying to even out my breathing. When I could breathe normal enough, I looked back up into his eyes.

Sitting in front of me was the one person I would never have guessed to be here. Sitting in front of me was a person I'd only ever met, in my dreams. He was a genius, an artist, and he was right in front of me.

He chuckled. I must've had a very goofy expression on my face; it felt that way, at least. I straightened and tried to talk.

"Y-y-you're G-G-G-Gerard Way-ay!" I managed to stutter out.

He looked down at his hands in his lap, and chuckled again.

"I _must _be dreaming! Someone pinch me,"

No-one moved.

"You're not dreaming, Jadis," He eventually said.

"Then, w-what are y-y-you d-doing here?

He sighed, and then looked to my mum. Mum sighed as well. She took my arm and guided me over to the couch. I gratefully flopped into the middle seat. Mum plopped down on my other side. I looked at each of them in turn; trying to decipher what was happening.

"Ow!" I squealed rubbing my arm. Gerard had pinched me. "Why'd you do that?"

"To prove you're awake," He smiled at me. Immediately, the entire atmosphere seemed to lighten. I smiled back, how could I resist? He had a beautiful smile.

"Gerard!" Mum hissed at him, "She needs to know why you're here, and I'm not going to tell her! This was you're idea!"

I study Gerard's expression carefully. I scrutinized every little emotion that crossed his face.

Eventually, he looked up at me, and met my gaze.

"Do you want me to just outright say it?" He asked

Unable to find my voice, I just nodded.

He sighed, looking away again. "You probably know, my name is Gerard Arthur Way,"

I nodded again, not understanding what that meant.

"But when I wrote to you, I always signed it A.W."

I gasped. Every birthday, I had received a present, and a card, from my father. Every note I had ever received, from my dad, had been signed A.W.

"That's not possible!" I whispered

"Apparently, it is."

"But you would've been 17! And mum would've been 24! That's paedophile!!"

"Not in Vegas, baby," Gerard chuckled. I guessed he was reminiscing, by the look in his eyes.

I felt like I was either going to puke or faint. I leant right back, against the back of the couch, and closed my eyes. Gerard Way! _The_ Gerard Way! No way was I related to him!

"Wait!" I said, suddenly sitting up, "That means that Mikey is my uncle?!"

"He wasn't too proud of it, said it made him feel old." He looked at me then, "Don't cry. I'm not that annoying, am I?" He whispered. With his thumb, he wiped away a tear, which I didn't know was there. His hands were surprisingly warm.

I leant back into the couch again.

"But, I don't even look like you!"

"Fuck." I heard him breathe. My eyes darted to mum's face. She had a disgusted look on it. She had definitely heard him.

"Gabby, could you lead me to a mirror?"

Mum flinched at the nick name, but nodded all the same. She stood up and reached for my hand again. With mum in the lead, she took Gee and me into our little bathroom. Mum left the room quickly. There wasn't much room, but I think she was just pissed off.

Gerard bent down, so that our faces were level in the mirror.

"Holy motherfucker!" I whispered. Then shot my hand up to cover my mouth. I was definitely not allowed to swear.

"Took the words right out of my mouth." Gee laughed.

His nose, his lips, they were my nose and my lips!

"Why me? Why now? Why??" I asked myself.

"You're special, J. Way."

I giggled at my new, funny sounding name.

"And, I've waited fourteen years. Fourteen years to meet my only daughter. I couldn't stand it any longer,"

"So, is _this_ why I've never been allowed to go see a MCR concert? Is that why mum hates your music? _Because_ it's you?"

"Probably," He sighed. He straightened up, and slung his arm around my shoulders.

"Aren't you married?" I asked, remembering an article I'd read a few months ago.

"Yeah. Lyn-Z."

"Hang on," I said, suddenly dipping out from under his arm, "The rumours _are_ true!"

"Which ones?" He asked. He leant against the vanity bench, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Me," I breathed.

"Gerard," Mum called, from the kitchen, I guessed, "Do you want something to drink?"

"Yeah, yeah!" He yelled back, "Just getting to know my fucking, daughter." He added to himself. He stared into my eyes for a few more minutes, before standing up by himself.

"The kitchen's this way," I said quietly.

He followed me out of the bathroom, down the hall and into the kitchen. As he went and sat down at the table, I fetched myself a glass of water.

As I was heading over to the table with my water and one for him, my phone started blaring. I jumped in surprise as Gee started cacking himself laughing. My cheeks flared red as a blundered around in my pocket looking for my phone. I _had_ to have had _I'm not ok (I promise) _as my ring tone. I just _had_ to.

Finally laying my fingers on my mobile, I retrieved it from my pocket. Hailey, of course.

"Hey, Hails," I said. Gerard was still roaring with laughter, which Hailey must've heard.

"Hey, Jay. Who's that?"

"Erm…" I looked at Gerard for help, but he was too busy laughing. I looked to mum and she held her hand out for the phone. I gladly handed it to her.

While mum was explaining, something, to Hailey, I got a sponge and dustpan and brush. Once I had finished cleaning up the broken glass. I got another two and went to sit in my chair. Gerard was in the seat next to me.

"Will you _please_ stop laughing?" I said there was obvious venom in my words. He sniffed and wiped his eyes.

"Don't talk to your dad that way!" He managed to get out before he burst out laughing again.

I rolled my eyes, "You're not part of my life for fourteen years. Then you randomly decide to show up, and claim fatherly respect from me?" I asked incredulously, "Why are you laughing anyway?"

"'Coz I never realized how funny I sounded on those stupid ring tones." He took a deep breath, probably to stop the laughter returning, "Can I see your room?"

This caught me off guard. I bumped my glass and spilt _more_ water all over the table.

He suppressed his laughter, "Are you always this clumsy? Or is it just a special act for me?"

"Are you always this giddy? Or is it just a special act for me?" I shot back. I sponged up the rest of the water, before showing him my room.

"Your house is very small." He commented, as we were walking down the tiny hallway again. My room was at the very end of the hall.

"You're gonna laugh your head off when you see my room. Brace yourself," I told him. I put my hand on the knob, and froze, "Quick question."

"Shoot,"

"Do teenagers really scare the living shit outta 'rentals?"

"I wouldn't really know. I know _I_ scared a lot of shit out of people when I was a teenager, though."

"I'm not even going to ask,"

He laughed softly to himself.

I took a deep breath, and then slowly opened my bedroom door. I walked inside and flinched without thinking.

"Fu-uck!" He drew the word out into two syllables, "Something tells me you'd love to come to a concert." He looked around with a stunned expression.

My walls were covered, almost totally, in posters of _My Chemical Romance_. On my CD shelf were their four albums, the two _Panic At The Disco_ albums and a whole heap of other rock band albums. My laptop sat on top of my cluttered desk. It was turned on, and my _My Chemical Romance_ screensaver was lit up. Around my laptop were drawings and random little doodles of My Chem.

I blushed, and looked at his face. It was really embarrassing. I mean, he's my dad! And he's all over my bedroom!

I followed his gaze, and realized he was gawking at my open clothes draw. I blushed even deeper. On top of all the clothes, lying obvious and unfolded were my MCR T-shirts.

"Say something," I pleaded.

He blinked and just kept staring at the room.

"Fucking, hell! Say something!"

"I've never been inside a fans bedroom. It's fucking creepy, but fucking awesome!" He wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me tightly.

_Holy shit! _I thought _I'm fucking hugging fucking Gerard Way! _

"It's so good to finally know you, Jadis." He whispered in my ear.

"You once said, 'Who's your daddy? Not me, I use protection and you should too!' You're a liar!" I joked as he released me. He left his hands on my shoulders a looked at my face.

"Maybe so, but _you_ are one of the reasons I've stopped drinking," He smiled, but his eyes were showing a different emotion. An emotion I couldn't quite name.

"Were you really drunk for three years?"

"Almost," He said lightly.

"When do you have to leave?"

"Soon, I'm afraid," He sighed, and let his arms fall from my shoulders.

"How soon?" I asked reluctantly

"In about ten minutes."

My eyes brimmed with tears. I had only just met him, and now he has to go?

"Hey, don't cry. If your mum comes in, she'll think I did something."

"Sorry," I sniffed, "it just seems too soon, you're leaving me…again."

He pulled me back into a hug.

"I feel like a fucking shit-ass dad. I'm sorry I left you. I was only seventeen; I shouldn't've been in Vegas. But, I was. And I was stupid, and young, and fucking moronic when I got pissed. You hate me, don't you?"

"You know, this is the first time I've seen you without make-up." I said trying to change the subject.

"Really? You're probably right. Normally when I go out I have some form of make-up on. I tried something different today. I didn't want to get noticed. If the press find out…well Ray'll personally kill me."

"Ray? He doesn't seem like the murderous type. It's probably the fro."

"Ah, that fucking fro."

"Don't swear in front of her, please, Gerard." My mum's voice rang from the door.

Gerard released me, and looked at my mum, "Are they here?" He asked her.

"Yes, fortunately," Mum clipped her words.

"Who's here?" I asked.

"Mikey, Frank, Bob and Ray." Gee told me, "Do you want me to go?" The question was directed at my mum, but that didn't stop me from answering.

"No!" I said at the same time as my mum said, "Yes"

"Jadis, let him go. He can leave. He always leaves." Mum told me. She was talking to me, although her eyes didn't move from Gerard's face.

"I want to get to know my dad, mum!" I almost yelled.

"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!"

"Am I not _allowed_ to know my dad? Just like I'm not _allowed_ to listen to My Chem songs. Or have anything to do with the band? Look around, mum! Does it look like I always do what I'm told to do? Does it look like I only ever do what I'm _allowed_ to do? You're so controlling! I have my own mind, mum! I can think for myself!" I shouted at her.

Mum's face turned red. She was about to scream her head off at me, when we were both distracted by a strange snickering sound. We both turned out heads at the same time, to glare at Gerard. He was snickering to himself in the corner. I had almost forgotten he was there.

"Gabby, I won't let her do anything stupid, and the guys will be on their best behaviour. One night with my daughter. Please, Gabby? She'll be back tomorrow in the same condition. I swear. I would _never_ let anything happen to her. I love her like I love Mikey. Please?" He begged.

"If there is a single scratch on her…!" Mum left the threat hanging.

"Thank-you mum!!" I squealed, as I launched myself into her arms.


	2. The Guys

2

2. The Guys

"We better go, don't wanna keep the guys waiting." Gerard grabbed my arm and towed to toward the front door. He stopped on the threshold. I watched as he put on a hat, pulled his hood up and put on some sunglasses, "Let's go." He took my hand and guided me to a beat-up looking minivan. He opened the side door, and shoved me inside. He jumped in after me and slid the door shut.

"Jadis, this is Frank, Ray, Bob and your uncle Mikey." He point to each in turn, punching Mikey in the arm playfully.

"Hi," I said shyly.

"Fuck!" Exclaimed Frank, "She looks like you Gee!"

"Gee's an old fuck!" Ray taunted.

"Shut-the-fuck-up, Ray!" Gerard snapped.

"Let's get this show on the road!" Bob piped up. Jumping into the driver's seat, he started the car and took off.

"Fucking Australians driving on the wrong side of the fucking road!" Ray said under his breath, as Bob nearly hit a car.

"You fucking Americans drive on the wrong side of the road! Not us!" I shot back.

"Whoa! She even sounds like you, Gee!" Frank laughed. I wandered over to Mikey and sat down, while Gerard and Frank brawled.

"You always this quiet?" I asked him, "By the way, it's compulsory to where a seatbelt in Australia." I reminded them, as I pulled mine around my waist.

"Right," Mikey mumbled, doing the same.

I sat in silence, next to Mikey, until Gerard finally won the battle, and came to sit on my other side.

"You alright? Ignore the fucktards, I do." He told me, "Mikey, you're freaking her out."

"Sorry," Mikey mumbled again.

"It's not that," I said quietly, "It's just overwhelming."

"What is?"

"Having a family other than my mum. My grandparents died before I was born, my mum's an only child. It was always Mum, Mumble and Me."

"Mumble? Who's Mumble?" Frank laughed.

"My dog. Blue Heeler or Australian Cattle dog, if you prefer."

"Smart little thing, aren't you?" Mikey whispered, almost inaudibly.

"You should see her room, Mikey." Gerard told him. Suddenly I remembered my school bag slung over my shoulder. In all the chaos, I hadn't dropped it off. Good thing I always carried a spare set of clothes in it, I'd want to change soon. I also had my school laptop in it. I ripped the flap open and yanked out my laptop and USB. I shoved my USB in a port and logged on. A menu popped up, asking me what I wanted to do. I opened a folder showing the contents of my USB.

"What are you doing?" Frank asked curiously.

"You don't need to see my room. My USB and laptop will give you a fairly good idea." I opened up the folder labelled 'MCR Stuff'.

"We have a folder?" It was Mikey who spoke this time. His voice was edged with amusement. He was looking over my shoulder, at my computer screen.

"You have _more_ than _just_ a folder." I told him, glad he'd started talking to me. In the folder were more folders. There were: Photos, Videos, Music, Other. It was only when I became aware of the eyes on me that I started to blush.

"Fuck, Gee! Was her room like this too?" Mikey asked.

"Worse." Gee smiled.

"Aw, she loves us, Gee." Frank cooed sarcastically.

"Frank, it's past your bed time." Ray called from the front of the van.

"Just because I'm the youngest…"

"Frank!" Gerard growled.

"Can I see some pics?" Mikey asked me.

"Sure." I replied, clicking on the photo folder. Inside were, once again, more folders.

"You're too organised." Mikey commented.

"Oh, God!" Gee groaned.

"What?" Frank asked.

"She's got 'Frerard' pics!" Mikey laughed. I blushed again.

"Who doesn't?" I muttered to myself.

"Projekt Revolution?" Mikey guessed.

"Yeah…" I whispered. I jumped suddenly when Mikey started laughing his head off. In that moment, he looked so much like his brother.

"You know…you two…will…never live…that…down," Mikey said, between bursts of laughter.

"We. Are. Not. Gay! We're both fucking married, Mikey! To women!" Frank snapped through gritted teeth. He clipped each word. I sighed in relief to hear him say that, and then was startled when Gerard started laughing as well. I looked around and realized everyone was having a little giggle.

"Frank, these pictures beg to differ!" Mikey laughed. I was glad he was a bit more comfortable now. I leant my head against my dad's (that sounds so wrong for him) shoulder. The shock of everything had really exhausted me.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly once everyone had quietened down. I was on the brink of unconsciousness, but it had occurred to me that I had no idea where he was taking me.

"A hideaway on the coast. It's where we always stay when we come here on tour. No one knows how to find it except us."

"Sounds nice." I yawned, falling into a deep sleep.


	3. On The Coast

3

3. On The Coast

"Jay, we're here!" Gerard's voice cooed softly. I was being shaken gently, but I ignored it – I was too tired.

"Carry her over the threshold, Gee!" Someone joked.

"She's my daughter, not my wife, Frank!" Of course it was Frank.

"I'll carry her if you won't, bro." That must've been Mikey. He sounded timid. He never came across as anything less, than boisterous on stage, but something about me made him shy away.

"She can't be that heavy! I mean, she's only fourteen! And she's stick thin." That sounded a bit like Ray, but I couldn't be sure.

"I'll carry her. Can you grab her bag, Mikey?" _Thanks, dad _I thought. Gerard lifted me into his arms, gently. I curled in toward his chest, and fell back into my dream.

I woke with a start. Everything was pitch black, I had no idea where I was. "Mum!" I cried out into the darkness.

"Jay?" An American voice replied. In rush, I remembered, everything that had happened.

"Sorry," I whispered to Gerard. A light flicked on, and my hands flew up to cover my eyes.

"Are you ok?" He asked. I looked around as my eyes adjusted. I was on the top bunk of a warm bed; Gerard was on the bottom. The walls were painted a nice light blue, with little shells painted along the bottom. Opposite the bunk bed, there was a huge window. It looked out onto the ocean. It was magnificent, and beautiful. I looked down at myself, and realized I was still wearing my school uniform.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you up. I lost my bearings. When did we get here?"

"Um…about five hours ago. I guess all the shock wore you out."

"Mmm," Just then, my stomach grumbled, very loudly. "Shh!" I told it.

"Don't worry. You didn't have any dinner. Come on; let's find you something to eat." He helped me out of the bunk, and I followed him into a large kitchen. I gasped at the enormity of it; my home was small, as he had pointed out. My whole house could've fit into this single kitchen space.

In the middle of the kitchen, there was a large dining room table. There was a breakfast bar, on the right side, leading into, what looked like, the living room. Lining the two walls of the kitchen, were benches, a stove and a fridge. It was very…well…posh, I guess. But it was obvious that only guys had been using the space. There were dirty plates in the large sink, and chairs everywhere.

"What'd you feel like?" Gee asked, surfacing my mind to the now.

"I don't care. Toast will be fine." I said distractedly. Somewhere close by, I could here the crashing waves on the beach, and a strange roaring. "What's that sound?"

"The guys. Our sleep patterns are messed up. It's day time in America now so…"

"Oh." I managed dumbly. I sat down at the table, and stared out a window, also looking onto the beach. I could see a small flickering of a fire; so that's what they were doing. Gerard placed a plate down in front of me. It had on it, a simple piece of toast with peanut butter and jam.

"PB&J." He declared, sitting down opposite me. I looked at him, then at my plate. Suddenly, realization hit home, and hard! My life was different now! I knew my real last name. I knew my real father. I fucking knew _My Chemical Romance_!!

Shock, happiness, mentality – every emotion imaginable – overwhelmed me. I shoved the plate aside, and started crying into my arms, on top of the table.

"Fuck," He breathed, "I knew she was taking this too well." I heard a door slam shut and someone storm in.

"What'd you fuck up now, bro?" Mikey screamed.

"What'd you expect her to do? Reality had to dawn on her sooner or later!"

"You're being a fuckwit!"

"I'm trying to do this right! Sor-ry if I'm not good at it!"

"You _shouldn't_ be doing this! She was fine, until you came along!"

"She's my flesh and blood! Just like you, Mikey! Don't tell me to forget about her!"

I couldn't stand them screaming any longer. I stood up abruptly, knocking my chair over. I ran back into the room where I had been asleep. Hastily, I clambered up into my bunk, and bawled my eyes out into the pillow.

"Jadis!" They both called after me. I ignored them, trying my hardest, to cry myself to sleep.

"Don't worry about them, Jay. They always fight. It's a brother thing." A new voice told me. I looked up, startled. It was Frank.

"B-bet you're loving not b-being the youngest, n-now." I joked.

"This has really rattled you, hasn't it?" He asked, concerned, ignoring my subject changer.

"I'd always thought meeting my dad would be, well, normal. There is nothing normal about this. I just really wanna know, why now?" I rolled over onto my back, a stared at ceiling.

"We're all normal guys, Jay. We're just…popular guys, creative guys."

"I guess. I'm really surprised that I fell asleep, before."

"Why's that?"

"Don't worry."

"Spill."

"I normally need my iPod to fall asleep." I explained. He had a puzzled look on his face so I elaborated, "I need your music. It surprisingly relaxes me."

"That's a little different. You should probably trying going back to sleep."

"But I don't have my iPod."

"I have an idea." Frank dashed out of the room. A few seconds later the argument in the kitchen ceased. Someone was talking, but it was too quiet for me to hear. After a couple of minutes Frank returned with Gerard behind him. Gerard looked pissed off, but when he saw my face, he quickly perked up.

"How does rock music relax you?" Gee asked me, smiling.

"I dunno. It just _does_." I yawned.

"Fine then. You looked exhausted." He walked over to my bed side. Behind him, Frank picked up a guitar, and started strumming. I recognized it at once as _Sleep_.

"Ha ha." I said sarcastically.

"What'd you expect?"

"Don't worry." He started singing, and I immediately felt my eyelids droop. In a few minutes I was sound asleep.

I opened my eyes, and I was on a stage. I leapt to my feet and scanned my surroundings for a familiar face. My eyes locked on Frank. He was standing off in the wings. I was about to run over to him, when suddenly the curtain in front of me parted, revealing an enormous audience. I froze, dead in my tracks.

"Catch!" Someone yelled. My hand flew up and caught a microphone. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Ray was standing there, his guitar plugged in. Next to him stood Mikey, holding his bass guitar. At the very back of the stage, sat Bob, his sticks in hand, ready to thump out a rhythm. I looked down at the expecting audience. In the front row, of the audience, sat Hailey, and my mum.

Suddenly, Ray started plucking the intro to _Mama_. I stared at him, uncomprehendingly. I was _not_ going to sing! What was he expecting? I jumped slightly when Gerard, literally, popped up next to me and started singing. Unthinkingly, I lifted the mike to my lips and started singing the proper back-up vocals.

"Jay?" Mikey started whispering. I could only just here it. Then it got louder.

"Jay!" Another male, American voice yelled. "Wake up!!" The voice sounded urgent. The entire stage scene started to shake. I opened my eyes, and realized I was staring into Mikey's face. He looked worried.

"What's wrong? Where's my dad?!" I asked nervously. I had noticed that Gerard wasn't in the room.

"I'm here!" Gerard called from the door. I sighed in relief, and then my worry was reinstated. He too was wearing a worried face.

"What's wrong?" I asked shakily.

"Bob and Ray spotted a helicopter flying over head." Frank informed me.

"So?" I asked again, still not understanding

"It was a media helicopter. We have to leave." Mikey explained. My eyes brimmed with tears, and I looked at the man in the doorway. I knew that by 'we' Mikey didn't mean me.

"I'm sorry, Jay. The fucking media won't leave us alone." Gerard told me. He sounded upset as well.

"I'm going with you." I stated, holding back my tears and trying to make my voice steady.

"No, Jay!" His voice was stern, "I am not going to get you involved with all of this. I shouldn't've come here. I was being selfish. I will never forgive myself if the spotlight is thrust upon you."

"I don't care about the consequences! I want to know you!"

"No, Jay! We'll drop you off on our way to the airport." And with that, he turned on his heel and disappeared into the early morning light. My tears spilled over, regardless of my efforts to hold them back.

"He can be harsh sometimes, but he has our best interests at heart." Mikey told me.

"Can I have a shower before we leave?"

"Sure, and if that fucktard gets pissed about it, too bad for him!"

"You lot say fuck waaaaaay too much."

"Coming from you Miss Way?" Frank joked. Mikey helped me out of the bunk, allowed me to retrieve my clothes from my bag, and led the way into a huge bathroom.

There was a spa in the corner, and a large shower next to it. The vanity was massive, with junk all over it. There was a door on the left leading into the toilet. But what caught my attention, was the enormous window.

"Whoa!" I commented, staring directly at the window.

"Don't worry," Mikey assured me, "It's one way. I'll leave you to it then?"

"Ok." I muttered. Mikey left and I striped down and hopped into the boiling shower. While I was washing, I automatically started singing. It was a habit, I couldn't help it. I forgot all about the here and now, and concentrated on my singing. I was an ok singer, but nothing special. I'd never been allowed singing lessons, and I couldn't pay for them by myself, so I was self taught.

When I was clean, I jumped out of the shower and started drying myself off, with a towel Frank had given me. I slipped on my favourite My Chem shirt, a pair of black skinnies and my black hoodie. I walked over to the huge mirror above the vanity, and started brushing my hair. It seems I carry everything, but what I need for school, in my bag. I pulled out my eyeliner and lightly skimmed my eyes. Once I had laced up my off white hightops, with skulls, I left the bathroom still humming.

I walked halfway down the hall, and noticed that Ray and Frank were staring at me.

"Did I do something?" I asked self-consciously.

"Your voice!" Bob exclaimed, appearing behind the others.

"Is it that bad?"

"You're amazing!" Frank explained.

"Hardly." I replied modestly.

"You really are!" Gerard's voice said from behind me.

"By what Gee's told us, I wouldn't've thought that Gabby would've let you have singing lessons." Ray told me.

"She doesn't. I haven't had a singing lesson in my life! My voice is junky anyway."

"You sing like your dad, but in a female form." Mikey's voice said.

"Oh, God! Did anyone not here me sing?" I asked covering my face with my hand.

"Doesn't look like it." Frank said.

"Can we please get on with the leaving of your only daughter business? I'm gonna run out of time to cry otherwise." I said cruelly. I just wanted to get out of here. I didn't like all the attention.

"I don't like this either, Jay. Don't get pissed off at me! I don't want your life ruined by the fucking media!" Gerard told me.

"Why'd you come? All you've done is made this harder for me! All you've done is make it more difficult, for me, to look at my bedroom walls, to use my computer, to turn my iPod on. All you've done is crush me! Can we _please_ go already?!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry, Jay. I really am-"

"Save it!" I cut him off. I stormed past Mikey and Gerard, out the front door, and leant back against the van. I started to cry, and not long after my knees gave out. I sunk down to the sand, and bawled my eyes out.


	4. A Change In Plans? Please?

4

4. A Change In Plans? Please?

**Gerard**

_Way to go Way, you've fucked everything up nicely…again _I thought to myself.

"Frank, go after her and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid." I mumbled.

"Why me?"

"Because, she likes you, and she won't want to talk to me right now." I spat at him. My rage was starting to boil over. I walked over to the wall in front of me, and bashed my head against it. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I kept whispering as a bashed my head.

"Stop it, Gee. That's not helping anything." Ray said, putting his hand on my shoulder and pulling me gently away from the wall.

"Maybe if I lose enough brain cells-"

"Don't do this to yourself!" Bob almost yelled.

"You brought this all on yourself, Gerard, and you know it! We shouldn't've come here!" Mikey screamed at me.

"Mikey, I don't need shit from you right now! Why are you so fucking against this? What have you got against Jadis?!" I screamed back.

"I'm against it, because you're a fucktard! You shouldn't have come here! It was selfish of you, Gerard! Now all you've done is made her life even harder!"

"Fuck off, Mikey." Mikey opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off, "I said FUCK OFF!" This time I lunged toward him. My anger, guilt and pure rage spilt over. I was restrained by Ray and Bob's hands.

"Calm down, Gee!" Ray's voice sounded worried.

"Chillax, mate." Bob sounded the same. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down a bit. Rage and anger subsided slightly, and I realized what I was doing. Mikey stood in front of me; his expression was shocked and scared. I had been about to hurt my brother! I slid to the ground and leant back against the wall.

"Fuck! I'm sorry, Mikey. I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just really stressed out at the moment." I whispered. I felt like such an asshole.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have provoked you like that." Mikey said quietly. He walked over and slid down beside me.

"What am I going to do?" I groaned. I closed my eyes. I wanted to escape, escape with Jadis. Somewhere where we'd be safe and happy; but that was, and would only ever be, a fantasy.

"Maybe you should go talk to her. Frank can only be comforting for so long." Mikey suggested.

"She hates me. I'm not a dad; I'm too stupid to be a decent dad. I fuck everything up!"

"What's wrong with you?" Bob asked. I opened my eyes and looked at him. What's he on about? Reading my expression, he continued, "What happened to the lead singer of our band? The guy who was inspired by the September 11 bombings? The guy who wanted to change the world? The guy who sings about real issues in the world? 'Coz I can't see him right now."

"He's still somewhere in the asshole in front of you." I smiled.

"Then bring him out again, Gee. You're not an asshole you are Gerard Way; a legend and an idol to people all over the world!" Bob said inspirationally.

"I can't. He belongs to Jadis." I chuckled to myself sadly.

"Why?" Jadis' beautiful, Australian-accented voice asked. I looked to the doorway. Jadis stood there, her face tear stained, her clothes sand covered.

"Because, you deserve him, not me." I watched her as she slowly walked over to me.

"I don't deserve anything. I was being a spoilt brat. I expect too much." She said squatting down in front of me. Frank appeared in the doorway, where she'd just been. I reached out and caressed away her tears, with the back of my hand.

"I don't _want_ to leave you, Jadis. I'd take you with me if I could, but your mum would have me arrested."

"Then lock me up and throw away the key!" Her jaw was set determinedly, her eyes were stern. Her defiance made me laugh.

"If only it was that simple. What about you're mum? What about Mumble?"

"Mumble's chemically unstable and mum is romantically starved. I think me being away might be good for them."

"Chemicals and romance, that's going to get annoying," Ray laughed.

"Sorry," I said, embarrassed, "I've being saying that for ages."

"Jay, I'd never forgive myself if you ended up like Lindsey Lohan or something." Gerard said firmly.

"I'm not stupid, and I'll have guidance. Please?" She begged.

"Only if your mum gives it the ok." I told her, knowing very well that she wouldn't. I would've given anything to stay with her, but I knew that I was just being selfish again. I was _not_ going to drag her into this world.

"Fine with me." Jadis said confidently, surprising me, "I have vays und means of getting my vay, Vay!" She said in a bad German accent. We all laughed.

"Let's go then, who knows when that stupid helicopter will be back." Mikey declared. I'd almost forgotten he was there, he'd been so quiet.

"Ok then: Mikey make sure no-ones headed this way, Ray and Bob, you two get our stuff together and load the van, and Frank, lock-up," I said looking at each of them in turn. Slowly I got to my feet, then helped Jadis and Mikey up. "I'll help Jadis pack-up. We'll meet in the van in about ten minutes. We have to be quick." Everyone nodded, and then disappeared to do their jobs.

Jadis followed me into the room, where we had slept last night. I glimpsed at the clock on the wall, and saw that it was nearly 8am. No wonder I felt drowsy. I went over to my bunk, sat down, and then dangled my head between my knees, so I could see underneath it. I pulled out her bag, and my own. She took it from me and checked everything was there. While she was doing that, I went to the bathroom to get my stuff from the vanity.

When I walked in, Ray was there. He was packing up his toiletries. He looked up as I walked over to the vanity next to him. I stared at my reflection in the mirror; I looked horrible. Paler than normal – almost white – and I had eyeliner smudged all over my face. My eyes were bloodshot, and my hair was tousled. I started shaking my head. _What on earth am I thinking? _I thought. _What if Gabby lets her go? What'll happen? Ah, fuck! I shouldn't be doing this!_

"Don't do this to yourself, Gee." Ray said, surfacing me from my thoughts.

"Do what?"

"Don't beat yourself up. She _wants_ to come with us. You're not forcing her to do anything. We all hate seeing you like this."

"Like what?"

"Like, guilty and worried all the time. You used to be carefree and innocent, but you decide to meet your daughter, and you change! What's going to happen to the band? We're nothing without that old Gerard."

"I'm sorry. I just don't want her to become a drug-addicted, alcoholic whore." I put my hands on the edge of the vanity, and let my head droop. "I don't want her to make my mistakes."

"Give her a chance, mate. She doesn't seem like one of those ditsy fuckwits. I don't think she'll do anything stupid. Especially if you're there for her."

"We better finish packing." I said straightening up. I opened a draw and emptied the contents into my bag.


	5. Goodbyes

5

5. Goodbyes

**Jadis**

I checked everything was in my bag, and I rechecked. Still Gerard didn't come back. I stood up, with my bag slung over my shoulder. I walked out the door, and then heard a noise coming from the bathroom. I recognized Ray and Gerard's voices. They sounded upset.

"Don't beat yourself up. She _wants_ to come with us. You're not forcing her to do anything. We all hate seeing you like this." Ray said.

"Like what?" Gerard asked.

"Like, guilty and worried all the time. You used to be carefree and innocent, but you decide to meet your daughter, and you change! What's going to happen to the band? We're nothing without that old Gerard."

"I'm sorry. I just don't want her to become a drug-addicted, alcoholic whore." He paused then continued, "I don't want her to make my mistakes."

"Give her a chance, mate. She doesn't seem like one of those ditsy fuckwits. I don't think she'll do anything stupid. Especially if you're there for her."

"We better finish packing." Gerard said, clearly ending the conversation. I quickly and quietly crept back to the bedroom; not wanting to get caught.

_Great, _I thought, _I'm going to responsible for the break-up or tragic end, of _My Chemical Romance_. Smooth, Jadis. Real smooth._

"You ready?" Gerard asked from behind me.

"Yep," I told him, "Ready to destroy your band." I added to myself. He must've heard though.

"You're not going to destroy us. What gave you…Oh! Jadis-" I spun around and cut him off.

"Ray's right; you are different, and it's all because of me. Write to me?"

"Jay, you can come if your mum says you can. I promise we won't break-up because of you."

"How can you promise me that? Are you psychic now?"

"You don't have to be rude! I'm sure you don't talk to your mother this way!"

"Yes, but you're not my mother! You're barely my father! Despite what my DNA says!"

"If that's how you feel, then I'll just disappear."

"Forever more…" I choked out, realizing I'd really fucked this conversation up.

"Yeah, something like that." He looked down at the ground, to his left. I ran toward him, and embraced him.

"I'm so confused." I said into his chest.

"I'm sorry." He told me, wrapping his arms around me, and holding me close.

"Stop apologising!"

"Sor-"

"Ah!"

He chuckled, and then said, "We better head out to the van." We released each other and walked out to the van together. The whole time Gee had his arm slung over my shoulders.

We hopped into the van together, and sat down. Gerard was on my right, and Frank was on my left; next to Frank, sat Bob, listening to his iPod, very loudly. Up front, Mikey was driving, and Ray was next to him.

Despite the summer heat, I started shaking as we neared my house.

"It's ok. Don't get nervous." Gerard whispered in my ear.

"I _need_ to know, do you guys actually _want_ me?" I asked them all. Everyone except Mikey and Bob – because he couldn't hear – turned to stare at me. Their expressions all showed shock, at the thought that they wouldn't want me.

"Why the fuck would you think we don't want you?" Frank asked.

"Well, it's just that I'm sorta…I dunno, forcing myself at you guys. And Ray noticed that Gee's been acting off 'coz of me. I just don't want to be an obstacle."

"Not possible. We all love you." Mikey said from the driver's seat. We rounded a corner, and my tiny house appeared.

"How are we going to go about this?" I asked curiously. I really had no idea how to fully convince my mum to let me go. But, when there's a will, there's a way. I just had to find the way.

"Frank and I'll go in with you; don't wanna overwhelm your mum. You work your so called, magic. And if that isn't working, then you'll sing."

"What?!" I screeched. Mikey suddenly swerved, and a car horn blared.

"Holy motherfucker! Don't fucking scare me like that!" Mikey yelled.

"You're going to make me sing?!" I continued, ignoring Mikey.

"Even if it means pouring orange juice on your head." Frank told me, a mischievous smile appearing on his face.

"How'll orange juice make me sing?"

"You'll have to have a shower…"Frank started.

"…And you _sing_ in the shower." Gerard finished. I gulped. They had me; I couldn't _not_ sing in the shower. I was defective that way. Ray laughed at my reaction.

"What's the problem with your mum hearing you sing?" He asked.

"She hates it. Whenever I have a shower she goes out, or starts vacuuming or something. I guess I know why now. You really messed her up, _dad_." I said looking directly at Gerard, who ignored my gaze.

"Time for the show." Gerard said, unclipping his seatbelt and getting up. Mikey parked just in front of my driveway. Frank opened the door, and we all jumped out one-by-one.

As we walked up the driveway to my front door, I tensed.

"It'll be fine. Don't worry." Frank assured me, sensing my anxiety, no doubt.

"Let's just wipe away where your eyeliner ran." Gerard said handing me a tissue; he'd retrieved it from his pocket. I wiped my face then looked up at him. We stopped at the front door. Gerard looked down at me, and I quickly wiped away, his messed up make-up.

"Thanks." He mumbled.

"You ready?" Frank asked me.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I sighed, and rang the doorbell. Immediately, we could here mum scurrying down the stairs. The door flew open, eagerly, a few seconds later.

"Jadis!" Mum exclaimed, embracing me.

"Mum, you're crushing my lungs!" I said pulling away from her. Mum released me, then noticed Gerard and Frank behind me.

"Come in, I guess." Mum told them dismissively. She turned on her heel, and walked back upstairs, dragging me behind her. The others followed. Mum led us into the kitchen. She released my hand and put the kettle on.

"We won't stay long." Gerard said to mum, noticing the gesture.

"Do you want some water?" I asked them, being polite.

"Yes, please." Frank nodded.

"Ok, as long as you don't drop it, again." Gee smiled. I punched him playfully, and then went to get their water. They walked over to the table and sat down.

"How horri-good, was your night, dear?" Mum asked me., noticing the exchange between the three of us.

"Good. It's nice to know my dad." I replied.

"Yes. When are you going back to America?" Mum asked the others.

"Later today, probably. Media's everywhere." Frank told her. That was my chance.

"I want to go with them, mum." I said, turning to face her. Mum's hand jerked and her tea fell to the ground. The porcelain cup shattered. I jumped back a little, as the boiling water splashed.

"No! Why would you want such a thing?!" She screeched. Outside, Mumble started barking at the commotion.

"Because, it's an opportunity. Mum, we're all gonna die, eventually!" – I heard Gerard and Frank groan, but I didn't move my gaze – "Can't I live my life, while I have the opportunity?"

"What about your friends? What about school? You are not going!"

"Hailey's really my only friend! And I can home school! Nothings impossible, mum, things are just hard sometimes." I could see she was giving in; I just needed something to push her over.

"Show her, Jay." Gerard said to me. I blushed; I hated singing in front of people. I took a deep breath, and reminded myself: Sing now, or forever regret it. I opened my mouth and started singing _Chasing Cars_ – mum's favourite song. Mum's eyes brimmed with tears. She walked toward me, and hugged me.

"I don't want to lose you, Jay! You're all I've got."

"Please can I go? I'll communicate with you everyday!" I started crying too.

"What about Mumble and Hailey? What if you don't like it over there?"

"If there is the smallest problem, we'll bring her back immediately." Gerard assured mum.

"All I need is your permission."

"How can I deny you an opportunity like this?"

"I love you mum!" I squealed.


	6. Hello New Life

6

6. Hello, New Life

I packed my belongings into a duffel bag, and Gerard, Frank and I, left the house. We headed straight to the airport. The trip to the airport was quiet. I could see that Gerard was a little stressed out about this. Bob was still listening to his iPod; Frank was snoozing; Ray was concentrating on the road; Mikey was playing with a piece of paper, folding it every which way.

We arrived at the airport, checked in, and were on a flight, to America, within the hour. The guys relaxed significantly on the plane; although they were still wearing their 'disguises'. They were all wearing hoodies, hats and sunnies. Frank had to also wear a scarf to hide his scorpion tattoo, on his neck. It was only when my stomach started growling that I realized that I hadn't eaten since lunchtime yesterday. I instantly noticed that I felt dizzy and light-headed; Frank, who was on my right, noticed – the others were all asleep. He called a flight attendant over, and asked for a meal, for me. I dug in hungrily; I hadn't noticed how famished I actually was.

Gerard woke up at around 2pm. Frank had fallen asleep about twenty minutes earlier, and I had been quite bored. I was eager to talk to him, when he woke up.

"What's going to happen when we land in America?" I asked him as he stretched his arms.

"Not sure yet. We'll have to present you to the press though." He yawned. I tried to hide the apprehension in my eyes, but he must've seen it. "Don't worry, it won't be too soon."

"This is so cool!" I commented. I'd only ever been on a plane once before, and that had been to Canberra, for school. I remembered the flight being: long, boring and uncomfortable. It was so much different in first class. Sure it was going to be long, and there were going to be boring spots, but it was so much more comfortable! I could probably enjoy it more.

"It probably is for you. To me it's just another day on a plane." He sighed.

"Can you please get my bag?" I asked.

"Yeah, hold on a sec." He stood up and retrieved my carry on bag from overhead.

"Thanks." I said as he handed it to me, and sat back down. I yanked the flap open and pulled out a little, black, leather notebook. I also grabbed a pencil. I opened my book and flipped to my most recent creation. It was a song I had been working on. I didn't realize Gerard, looking over my shoulder, until he started humming the tune. I jumped and hit him in the face.

"Fuck!" He said, rubbing his nose.

"Sorry! You startled me. Are you ok?" I babbled.

"I'm fine. That's a good song, you've got there. Just needs a few more tweaks."

"I've been working on it for ages."

"Is that all that's in that book? Songs?"

"Pretty much."

"Can I have a look?"

"I guess…it's kinda private, though."

"Fellow lyricist and musician here."

"Fine then." I said handing over my little, black book.

"Oh. My. God! You don't really feel this bad all the time, do you?" He asked worriedly. His eyes skimmed across the pages.

"Not at all. I don't really know why I write such depressing things." The word 'depressing' reminded me of so much that I had read. That Gerard was a smoker, that he suffered from depression; that his grandma had died, and he regretted not seeing her enough; that he was a high school reject. I had forgotten so much, clouded by the excitement and confusion of finding my father.

"That's good," He looked up at me, "Something wrong? You gonna be sick? You look very pale, Jadis." He was worried again.

"Yeah, just remembered something."

"It looks like it was a scary something."

"Do you still smoke? I haven't seen you even handle a lighter, not since I've met you."

"Yeah, but I don't do it around the guys, they don't like it. Mikey's always on my case to quit, but it's like a nervous thing. Whenever I get stressed, instead of drinking, I have a smoke."

"You'll give yourself cancer!"

"Ironic, huh?" He chuckled, and I stared at him like he was insane. He took the whole thing so lightly! Death isn't a subject to be taken lightly! "Don't freak out, Jay. I'm quitting, slowly; one death-stick, by another fucking death-stick." He told me, handing back my notebook.

"You call them death-sticks, and still you fucking suck them? And inhale smoke? What's the point in inhaling smoke?" I almost screamed, snatching my notebook off him. I was freaking out. I knew it, but I couldn't help it. I hate smoking! It's disgusting!

"It's a drug, Jadis. It addicts you. I really can't fucking help it."

"Mikey stopped!"

"He's Mikey. He can put his mind to something, and pull through."

"He learnt that from you!"

"He isn't on anti-depressants! His life isn't fucked up! He doesn't have regrets! He doesn't have the entire fucking world wanting _everything_ from him!!" Gerard roared at me. I shied against the arm rest, farthest away. Frank woke up at Gerard's shouting, just as I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"Stop it, Gee! You're scaring the hell outta her, and drawing attention to us!" Frank said quietly, but fiercely

"Fuck! I did it again!" Gerard mumbled into a pillow he'd retrieved, from underneath his seat.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. Both men stared at me.

"Why are _you_ apologising?" Gerard asked.

"Because, I know your life has been hard, and I making things worse just by being here! And I feel like a moron. I'm giving you a hard time, and you're life's hard enough."

"That's not true! I chose to live my life this way! You should not feel guilty, about my decisions."

"What's pissed you off, this time?" Mikey's voice groaned from behind me. I looked up and saw his head, poking over the top of my seat.

"I over reacted about quitting smoking." Gerard explained to Mikey.

"I thought we agreed we are going to quit, together. Soon" Frank added.

"Yeah, it's just…some days I don't know why I fucking bother."

"Bother with what?" I asked.

"Suffering another day; another day of feeling guilty. You're keeping me alive, Jadis." That was deep; it put the weight of the world on my shoulders.

"Oh, God!" Mikey moaned. "You need to take your meds, bro. You're being all, scary, melodramatic, depressed zombie-man, again."

"Fuck off, Mikey." Gerard whispered, harshly.

"But, you haven't, have you?" Frank prodded.

"No, I haven't! Got a problem with that?!" He roared again, this time at Frank.

"Will you please all just shut-the-fuck-up? Everyone's tired, and pissed off! Stop being fuckheads!" I cried. Water droplets, flowed down my face, splashing silently onto my shirt.

"She's right, guys. Everyone's staring." Mikey whispered. Gerard pulled a medication container and a bottle of water, out of his bag. He stood up and, silently, disappeared, into the bathroom.

"You okay?" Frank asked the second Gerard was out of sight.

"Sorry, about him," Mikey said, before I could answer, "He has his regrets, and is not the greatest company, when he goes fucking emo." I smiled through my tears, up at Mikey. Then my smile faltered, as I remembered what emos were said to do.

"He's not cutting himself is he?!" I asked quickly. I sat bolt upright, my tears stopped leaking from my eyes, and I stared at Mikey. I monitored his expression carefully, not wanting to miss anything if he slipped up.

"Mikey didn't mean stereotype emo; calm down, Jadis! He's just taking his meds, so he's not as…" Frank trailed off, trying to think of a word.

"Petulant?" Gerard offered. My eyes flitted up to him. "I'm sorry, Jadis. I'm a fuckwit. I understand if you hate me. _I_ hate me. I'm just very tired, confused, and anxious and I hadn't taken my meds. But I love you, Jay." I stood up, walked over to him and hugged him.

"I love you, too, dad." I whispered. Suddenly, the cabin started to shake, and I thought the plane was crashing. A wave of sudden dizziness overwhelmed me, and my knees lost all strength. Gerard was holding me up. My body felt heavy, and I couldn't stay upright. Panic, shot through my body, as my world clouded over into darkness.


	7. Jadis, Meet The Press

7

7. Jadis, meet the press

**Gerard**

I stared at myself, in the airplane mirror. Frank and Mikey were right; I was being stupid zombie-man. Fuck, I'd probably scared the shit outta Jadis. I took my medication, and ghosted back to my seat.

"…He's just taking his meds, so he's not as…" Frank's voice trailed off. I stood beside my seat silently. Jadis' eyes were diverted, looking at Mikey.

"Petulant?" I supplied. Jadis' eyes flitted up to mine. "I'm sorry, Jadis. I'm a fuckwit. I understand if you hate me. _I_ hate me. I'm just very tired, confused, and anxious and I hadn't taken my meds. But I love you, Jay." She stood up, walked over to me and hugged me.

"I love you, too, dad." She whispered. Suddenly, the cabin started to shake; turbulence, great. Jadis abruptly stopped supporting herself. I clung onto her, making sure she didn't hit her head. Within a second, her entire body went limp.

"Jadis?" I asked. She didn't move. "Jadis?!" I yelled, shaking her. Still nothing.

"What happened?" A female flight attendant asked.

"She just, fainted!" I yelled.

"Calm down, sir. You should all buckle up; the turbulence is going to get a bit worse."

"But she fucking fainted!"

"Strap her in too." The attendant said nonchalantly, turning away. I threw my head back, in frustration, and my sunnies, hoodie and hat fell off. Everyone around me turned and stared.

"Fuck!" I breathed.

The attendant spun around, to see what all the fuss was about. She froze. It seemed as if the world had paused. Nobody, so much as breathed. All eyes were focused on me, and the limp figure of my daughter, in my arms.

After a few seconds, the older passengers, adverted their eyes, to something, they believed, more interesting. Still, the younger, more adventurous passengers remained staring, wide-eyed and open-mouthed at me.

The flight attendant, who had previously been so impolite, scurried back over to where I stood.

Jadis stirred in my arms. I helped her stand upright, as she came round. Stillness remained in the cabin, accompanied by silence. The only sound was the intake of breath, and Jadis moaning slightly.

"Dad? Wha-" She stopped, staring at my face, and realizing my 'disguise' was no longer in place. "Fuck!" She said under her breath.

Silence dragged on, but was interrupted when the plane began to shake, violently. Jadis' grip tightened on my arm. Without a single sound, the flight attendant seated Jadis and I, then scurried off to take her own seat.

Jadis didn't say anything. Not until the pilot's voice came over the loud speaker and said, "We shall be beginning our descent in about ten minutes. Please return to your seats, and strap in." Jadis turned on me. Her face was panicked.

"What the fuck is going to happen when we land?" Her voice was shaking, she sounded like she was on the brink of tears. Shear horror, emitted from her eyes. Her body was shaking, and she had goose-bumps on her arms.

"Are you cold??" I asked. I was avoiding the question, but still genuinely worried about her getting sick.

"A little, but your diverting the question!" A shiver rolled down her spine. I leant over my bag, pulled out my favourite skeleton gloves and another hoodie. I handed them to her. She took them out of my hands, slowly. Her eyes were glued to my gloves.

"Something wrong with skeletons?" I questioned, not wanting to offend her.

"No," She shook her head, "It's just…I've seen you were these so many the times! I never thought I'd actually see them close-up. Then again, I never even imagined meeting you!" She put the gloves and hoodie on, then sat back and basked in the feel of it. Her expression of amazement, made me chuckle. The seatbelt sign dinged alight, and we began our descent. Jadis' hand clung to my arm. She only released her grip, moderately, when we touched down.

We were the last ones to depart the plane. I was, once again, wearing my 'disguise'. Jadis never fully let go of my arm. She was incredibly tense, as were the others. None of us were ready, for what may or may not, await us outside the airport.

"Where are we?" Jadis asked. I realized that I'd forgotten to tell her where we were going.

"We're in Hawaii, Jadis."

"You're joking right?" She scoffed, "We can't really be in fucking Hawaii, can we?"

"By the looks of it, we can!" Mikey said sarcastically. Jadis rolled her eyes.

"We're going to be staying the night here, so you can change and shit. Then tomorrow we're flying to LA, then New York. From New York, we'll drive to New Jersey." I explained to her.

"Bit of trip, but you're so special, Jadis!" Mikey added again. I shot him a poisonous glare.

"Mikey, not here!" Ray hissed. Jadis looked over her shoulder. I followed her gaze, and realized she was looking at Bob.

"He's always in the background, that's why he plays kit." I joked in her ear. She jumped, and spun around. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

We stopped in the terminal. Collecting our luggage, we left as surreptitiously as we could. The six of us jumped into a Maxi Taxi, and headed downtown. Bob had booked us in at a hotel, somewhere more secluded, but still luxurious in it's own ways.

Halfway there, Jadis leant her head against my shoulder. Her eyes drooped, but I could see she wasn't going to fall asleep. Gently, I twisted her body, so she had her head in my lap. I cradled her there while I hummed to her _Disenchanted_. Instantaneously, she relaxed, and in a few minutes was asleep. I took a deep breath, and started thinking, about the issues we now had to deal with.

"Dude, it'll be alright." Frank told me, as I surfaced. He was sitting opposite me.

"You can't promise me that. Who knows how this'll turn out?" I replied, sleepily. The day had really worn me out, and it was starting all over again! I sighed, and leant right back against the taxi seat.

"Let's just get some sleep, we can deal with the press and shit later." Ray said thickly.

"We wouldn't have to deal with the press, if Gerard wasn't so selfish!" Mikey mumbled to himself, but it was obvious everyone heard him. I jumped suddenly, when Bob abruptly, yanked his earphones out and leapt to his feet.

"Mikey! Shut-the-fuck-up! Nobody gives a goddamn fuck what you think about this whole fucking situation! Like it or not this is the way it has to fucking be! Get over it fuckwit!" He screamed. Everyone stared at Bob, wide-eyed and shocked. Amazingly, Jadis stayed asleep, only stirring slightly.

"Dude, calm down!" Mikey told him timidly. I wanted to get up and soothe one of them, but Jadis would wakeup. I sat helplessly as Bob curled his hands into fists.

"I'm not going to fucking calm down, Mikey!!" He roared, "Why don't you fucking tell your brother, what the fuck you've been saying!" This got my attention. My gaze swerved to Mikey's face. Mikey looked upset, scared and guilty.

"You've been paying me out behind my back?" I asked him softly. It really hurt to know that my own flesh and blood was badmouthing me, without my knowledge!

"I'm sorry bro! It's just that-"

"I don't want your fucking excuses, Mikey! You used to care about me! Now you're fucking being a dickhead behind my back!" I told him harshly, not wanting to yell in case I woke up Jadis.

"You've changed!" Mikey tried defensively.

"So have you! You used to be…to be my brother!" My words slashed through him. I saw it in his eyes. His lip quivered, and his eyes began to gleam with water. I felt a pang of guilt, but the feeling of satisfaction was greater.

"We've all changed." Frank whispered.

"Change is supposed to be good, but it feels pretty shit at the moment." Ray added. The staring competition between Mikey and I ended. We diverted our eyes to the others.

"Can we still be who we were yesterday?" Mikey asked.

"Cool song lyric." I laughed, but the sound was not happy.

"I hope so," Bob said sadly.

"Guys, nothing's going to change drastically! We are still the same guys! We just have a little more responsibility. But that shouldn't be a problem, we're all old fucks!" I said at an attempt to be inspirational, and lighten the mood.

"Speak for yourself, old man!" Frank teased.

"Whatever. I'm tired, how much longer?"

"We're here, actually." The cabby told us. We filed out of the taxi, grabbed our luggage, and within twenty minutes, were curled up in individual beds.

"This is so much better than a tour bus!" Mikey moaned gratefully, as he slid into his bed. Mikey, Jadis and I were in one room; Frank, Ray and Bob, were in the other. Jadis and I were sharing a king-sized bed, because Bob had screwed up the bookings.

"_I'm fucking everything up!" Jadis half cried, half screamed._

"_Jadis, you're not!" I said._

"_Yes! I am! _My Chemical Romance_ doesn't exist anymore! Because of me!" Out of nowhere, Jadis produced a gun. "Wouldn't be grand to take a pistol by the hand?" She sung in a crazy, off pitch voice, "And wouldn't it be great if we were DEAD!" With that she raised the pistol to her temple. She took a deep breath and pulled the trigger, as I launched toward her. The bang resounded off the colourless walls. Jadis' motionless body lay on the ground, unmoving and, simply, dead._

"_Jadis? NO! WHY?!" I cried, holding her corpse close. Nothing mattered anymore. Not the blood on my clothes, or the beat of my heart. I dropped Jadis, and instead held her gun. I put it right were my heart was situated, pulled the trigger and…_

"Dad?? Dad! Are you okay?! Wakeup!"

"What? Oh my god, Jadis! You're alive!" I held her tightly against my chest.

"Of course I'm alive! Is that what your nightmare was?"

"Nightmare? It was just a nightmare? Oh thank god!!" I said relieved, as I released her.

"What happened? You seemed quite distraught over it. You were thrashing around, calling my name, and I think you were sobbing." She sounded worried but her face showed no evidence confirming it.

"It's just sleeping in a strange bed, gives me nightmares." I mumbled, as I stumbled out of the bed. I shuffled over to the small kitchen space. Mikey was in there, sitting peacefully on a chair. He stood up when I ungracefully walked into the small area.

"I'm not here to start world war three! Chillax," I said as I put the coffee machine on. I poured a mug of coffee, then took it and stumbled over to the table – spilling some on the floor, as I went.

"Gee, I don't think we're going to be able to get all the way to LA without any sort of press catching us." Mikey said gently. I sighed.

"I know. It's inevitable. It had to happen. I just didn't want it so soon. Has it been arranged with the girls, where they're picking us up?"

"Yeah. It's about 8am now. We'll get to New York tonight. You sure you wanna go through with this?"

"Certain." I sculled the rest of my coffee – burning my entire mouth, in the process – then headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.


	8. Media Scares The Living Shit Outta Me!

8

8. Media scares, the living shit outta me!

**Jadis**

I was surrounded by darkness; suddenly disturbed by someone thrashing around next to me. I opened my eyes, to see what was happening. Dad was lying beside me, tossing around in the large bed. He mumbled my name, then yelled it. Tears ran down his cheeks.

"Dad?? Dad! Are you okay? Wakeup!" I called.

"What? Oh my god, Jadis! You're alive!" Gerard cried, as he held me tightly to his chest.

"Of course I'm alive! Is that what your nightmare was?"

"Nightmare? It was just a nightmare? Oh thank god!!" He sounded relieved. Slowly, he released me.

"What happened? You seem quite distraught over it. You were thrashing around, calling my name, and I think you were sobbing." I could hear the worried tone in my voice, but I made sure my face gave no evidence of my anxiousness.

"It's just sleeping in a strange bed, gives me nightmares." He mumbled, stumbling out of the bed. He shuffled over to the small kitchen space, and disappeared from my view. I could hear the muffled voices of Mikey and Gerard talking, but couldn't be bothered to pay attention. Instead I lay back down, and boiled over the issues at hand.

_Press, fame, rejection, scandal, Hailey. ARGH!_ I thought _I don't wanna think about this!_

I slid out of the bed, walked over to the corner and knelt down, in front of my bag. I pulled out my laptop and USB, then strode back over to the bed. As my computer booted up, Gerard walked out, grabbed his own bag, and then, once again, disappeared, into the bathroom. I plugged my USB in, and started working. I opened up a story I had started writing, but then thought I wasn't really in the mood. So instead, I picked up a wireless internet signal, and started surfing YouTube. I downloaded a few clips; opened Windows Movie Maker, then busied myself with my creation. I quickly sent mum an e-mail after a few minutes, then continued with my job. After about fifteen minutes, Gerard loomed up in front of me. About five minutes earlier, Mikey had left to see the others.

"Watcha doin'?" He asked distractedly, as he sat down beside me. I guessed that his mind was racing at a million miles an hour. He had plenty to plan for, and plenty to worry about, unfortunately.

"Nothing much. I hacked someone's internet, and went on YouTube. Downloaded a few clips, and am now putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece! Do you wanna see it?" I told him excitedly.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Random _My Chemical Romance _clips, what else?"

"What else, indeed." He muttered, and then focused on the screen. It was a bunch of clips put together, to make a video clip for their song, _Mama_. When it ended, he turned and stared at me in disbelief.

"What? Is it that random?"

"That's way cool! How did you do that?" He asked, flabbergasted.

"I'm a nerd." I said proudly.

"I wanna see!" Mikey's voice said. I looked up from my laptop, to see him walking over to the bed, where Gerard and I sat. I played it for him, and at the end, he had the same expression as Gee.

"Will you two stop looking at me like that? It's creepy!" I told them putting my hands up, as if to protect myself from their stares.

"I wanna be able to do that!" Mikey said, like a little kid. I laughed.

"It's really simple."

"Hello, I'm an oldie here!" Gerard chimed in.

"Show them later, we've got a plane to catch." Ray said, slamming the door behind him as he walked in.

"Aw, look at the cute family reunion!" Frank cooed, following behind Ray.

"Bob's waiting in the lobby. Hurry up you lot!" Ray told us impatiently. I slammed the lid of my laptop shut, jumped out of bed, grabbed my bag and ran off to the compact bathroom. Ten minutes later, I returned to the main room, stuffed my belongings into my duffel bag, and ran downstairs to the lobby with the others. Within twenty minutes we had checked in at the airport, and were waiting for our plane.

Bob had his iPod, again; Mikey was talking to Ray; Frank was playing some random electronic game; Gerard was next to me, and we were discussing how to make one of my songs work better. All this was interrupted, when suddenly we heard a girl scream. All six heads turned to inspect the owner, of the scream. About five meters away, a girl about my age was standing, with her mouth wide open, and her hand raised pointing at the six of us.

"Fuck!" Mikey, Frank, Gerard and I all said. Bob remained unperturbed, and Ray was just confused. There were now hundreds of eyes, fixated on us.

"Flight 365, to Los Angeles, now boarding!" A male voice said over the loudspeaker. Gerard clasped my arm in his hand, and dragged me as fast as he could, over to the boarding entrance. He shoved us to the front of the queue, ignoring the angry shouts of the people we passed.

"Sir, I can't let you on after that display! Please return to the back of the line." A large, young woman said, from behind the desk blocking our way.

"I _need_ to get through immediately!" Gerard told her. I heard the others run up behind us.

"Sir-!" She started only to be cut off by Gerard again.

"This is extremely important!" With that, he slid his glasses off. The woman gasped and looked at me, "We _need_ to get through, immediately!" he repeated, sliding his glasses back on. The woman nodded, as if her mind had fled. She was in shock, I noticed. I also noticed that, as we passed, Gerard slid her a green bill. I wasn't sure of the amount, but I knew it must've been a lot, because the girl looked very pleased.

Nobody said a word until we were safely in the air. That's when Mikey, silently, exploded. Well, it wasn't completely silent, but he kept pretty quiet, considering he was _extremely_ pissed off.

"We can't keep doing this!" He hissed.

"We agreed that if things got discovered early, it would be in New Jersey, that we expose her to the press!" Gerard hissed back.

"This is getting ridiculous!" Bob groaned to himself. I turned to look at him, surprised he'd even taken an interest in the argument. I glanced at his discarded iPod, with a puzzled expression. "It's dead." He told me.

"Ah!" I replied, lamely, understanding. I refocused on the argument.

"She needs to be presented, not discovered! Otherwise there'll be scandal stories everywhere!" Mikey argued.

"There's going to be scandal stories everywhere, anyway." Frank countered, half-heartedly. I could tell that Ray, Bob and Frank weren't enjoying the brothers fighting over me all the time.

"Besides, they're going to find out sooner or later, why can't we just let them figure it out?" Ray offered.

"And if they haven't figured it out, and we're ready, _then_ we can present her." Bob put in. Suddenly the argument between Mikey and Gerard, became an all round debate. I just sat back and listened to my iPod, sick of being the only topic of conversation. The argument started getting heated, and I couldn't stand it any longer. I jumped to my feet, ripped off my sunglasses, and exposed Gerard at the same time!

"Hey everyone! Look! I'm Jadis Way! That's my dad! Tell the press! I don't care!" I yelled to everyone in the cabin. Frank, Mikey, Ray, Bob and Gerard stared at me in horror.

"Why'd you do that?" Frank asked, as I sat back down. He was completely amused, now that he realized what I'd just done.

"Because you lot wouldn't shut-the-fuck-up about _how_ to _present_ me. So, now it's done for you!" I told them all, venting my anger through my words.

"Guess there's no point in wearing this anymore, then." Frank said, happily yanking off the scarf. "Goodbye itch!" He sighed. Picking up a magazine, he busied himself reading. The others were still staring at me.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I snapped. Someone's camera flashed, blinding me, "Not you, asshole!"

"Jadis!" Ray hissed.

"What?" I replied, venom seeping into the word. I was really pissed off, and finally able to let it out.

"Relax, Jay!" Bob told me.

"Why are you so fucking pissed off?" Mikey asked.

"Because this is just so fucking stressful, and it's being over-fucking-worried about! And- OW!" I grabbed my stomach.

"Jadis? What's the matter?" Gerard demanded worriedly.

"It's nothing," I told him sitting up straight again, "Just stomach cramps. They'll go away in a minute. That's probably why I'm so agitated." I gasped, holding my stomach again.

"'Coz your stomach hurts?" Ray enquired. I moaned again.

"No you idiot!" Frank said, clipping him over the ear. "Girls PMS before their…'monthlies'" Frank told him, uncomfortably.

"What the fuck?" Bob said. Frank leant over, and whispered in Bob's ear. Bob nodded, and then laughed.

"What's funny about it?" Frank asked.

"Not _it_! That you know so much!" Bob laughed.

"You learn these things when you get married!" Frank blushed, and returned to his magazine. I moaned and doubled over.

"It's been a minute, and it's still bugging you!" Gerard said, anxiousness edging his tone.

"I'll just go to the bathroom and take something. I'll be fine, don't worry!" I assured him. I took my 'monthly kit' out of my bag, and hurried down the aisle, into the bathroom. I took a pain killer, did what I had to do, and returned to the others quickly – not wanting to have Gee in a panic. I returned to my seat, and spent the remainder of the flight between unconsciousness and consciousness.

I woke when the plane suddenly shuddered, as it touched down on the runway. We were in Los Angeles. The plane taxied to a halt. We grabbed our bags and shuffled off the plane, capturing the eyes of most around us. As we exited the terminal the guys reinstated their 'disguises' but I really couldn't be bothered. When we stepped out of the airport with our luggage, as I expected, we were bombarded with media. We all remained silent as we pushed our way through the crowd to a taxi. My heart thumped in my chest, and I stayed as close as I could, to Gerard. Cameras flashed at me from every direction. People where thrusting microphones at my mouth, and there was a loud roar of everyone asking questions, at the same time. I buried my head against my father's chest, and allowed him to guide me through the confusion. When we were safe inside a cab, I was able to hear my breathing, and realized that it was ragged and uneven. Instantly, I started feeling dizzy.

"Are you asthmatic?" Mikey asked, noticing my inability to breathe.

"Not…normally!" I gasped. I scrambled around in my bag, looking for my rarely used asthma puffer. I took a deep puff, and caught my breath.

"That has _got_ to be the first time someone's pulled out an asthma puffer in front of me, and not asked me to sign it!" Mikey marvelled. I blushed and showed him the other side. Hailey had gotten it signed for me a few years back.

"How'd you manage that?" Frank asked, remembering, no doubt, my mum's hatred of them.

"Hailey." I said simply. Only Gerard and Frank understood, but no-one bothered asking me who Hailey was. "Anyway Mikey, you're my uncle. Why would I want you to sign my asthma puffer? I don't even like having the thing. It's just a reminder that something else is wrong with me."

"You're perfect in your own way, Jadis. That's why we already love you." Frank told me.

"What'd you mean 'not normally'?" Gerard asked me, trying to decipher the meaning of my words.

"I only ever get asthma when I'm sick, and on the rare occasion when I have the shit scared outta me; must've been one of those occasions." I explained.

"You should've told me! What would've happened if you didn't have a puffer?" He freaked out.

"Relax, dad! I always have it with me, just in case. I'm not stupid!" I said defensively.

"Sorry," He mumbled, "I'm a bit stressed out. That was fucking mental back there! Anything else you haven't told me about?" He asked, suspiciously eyeing me.

"Well, not really. I'm short-sighted? Does that count as something?"

"Know where she gets that from," Ray chuckled.

"But I haven't seen you with glasses." Mikey commented.

"I wear contacts mostly. Haven't you noticed my eyes are like, orange?"

"I did notice that. Thought it was fucking cool!" Bob said.

"Thanks. Love the colour orange. So I decided to get orange contacts."

"What colour are your eyes normally?" Gerard asked me.

"Hang on a second." I turned away from them, and carefully took out one of my contacts. I turned back to Gerard, and he gasped.

"Let me see!" Frank squealed like a little girl. I shook my head, smiled, and turned to look at him, Ray and Bob.

"Fuck!!" Ray exclaimed.

"What the fuck's the big deal? My eyes are hazel. Whoopee!" I said turning to Mikey, so that he could see.

"Fucking, bitch! You stole my eyes!!" He said loudly. He was joking though, because he gave me a big smile, to show that there were no hard feelings.

"Can we please stop gawking at my disabilities?"

"We're not gawking at your disabilities! We're gawking at your fucking eyes!" Frank told me. I sighed and put my contact back in. During the process I poked myself in the eye.

"Ah! Fuck! I hate these fucking things! They fucking hurt, and itch and drive me fucking nuts!!" I muttered, placing it in properly.

"Do you have glasses?" Mikey asked, noticing my crass display. I sighed, nodded and retrieved my glasses from my bag. I opened the case, to reveal a sleek black and red pair of glasses. They were quite like Mikey's old ones, except with red and a bit more curved, for a more feminine feel.

"Woah! They look fucking awesome! Why don't you wear them?"

"'Coz I don't enjoy being called a nerd! And getting teased for wearing glasses!"

"No-one can call you a nerd now. You're going to be famous pretty soon." Ray told me, gently.

"Trust me; wear the glasses, if the contacts annoy you!" Mikey whispered to me, as Ray and Bob started up a conversation, which Mikey quickly became part of. I stuck my iPod in my ears, and started playing games on it. Gerard and Frank started talking as well. The rest of the trip, to the next airport – _Fabulous! Another one! _- was spent with the guys talking about nothingness and me listening to music.


	9. New York City And A Very Long Drive

9

9. New York City and a very long drive!

We arrived in New York after what seemed like forever. It was darkening outside, but I really didn't know – nor care – what the time was. We exited the terminal – after everybody else had – and waiting for us were four, familiar-looking women and an adorable puppy. Well, it wasn't _really_ a puppy, but it was still cute! When Frank, Mikey, Ray and Gerard saw the girls, their faces lit up. They scurried over to them, and kissed them hello. Bob and I just stood there, waiting for recognition.

"Don't worry, it doesn't last long." Bob reassured me, as I started getting bored. The dog managed to get away from Ray and his wife, and ran over to me.

"Hello, Bauer! You are so cute!" I said in a baby voice, while patting him on the head.

"Wow! How'd you do that?" Ray asked, walking over and picking up Bauer's leash.

"Do what?"

"Pat him, without him mauling you. I've never seen him so friendly to anyone outside our little group." Ray told me, indicating the guys and their partners.

"Must be in your blood." The young woman who Ray had greeted, intimately, said to me. She walked over and stopped behind Ray, giving me a brilliant smile, "I'm Ray's wife. You must be, Jadis. You really do look like Gerard. It's scary!"

"Jay, come over here!" Gerard called, signalling, with his hand, for me to come over to him. He was standing with Lyn-Z, his wife. I took a deep breath, and ventured over to my dad and…well…step mum. At first, Lyn-Z seemed apprehensive about me, then she gasped, and kept flashing her glance, between Gerard and I.

"Woah, baby! She's definitely your kid! That's fuckin' weird!" Lyn-Z said to Gerard, as if I couldn't hear.

"She inherited Mikey's short-sightedness." Gerard told her grinning. He slung his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and breathed in his scent; B.O., smoke and _his_ scent.

"You alright, Jadis?" He whispered in my ear. I tightened my hold on his waist, and buried my face in his side. He put his own arms around me, and it comforted me immensely. "What's the matter, Jay?"

"I'm just scared, I guess." I mumbled into his jacket.

"Don't be. You're with nine adults, and a fucking scary dog, you're safe."

"I feel sick."

"Do you want to go to the bathroom?" I nodded, and he released. "Hon, can you take her to the toilet? I don't want her to go alone, to fucking risky." He said to Lyn-Z. I reluctantly let go of him, and allowed Lyn-Z to guide me to the bathrooms. We entered the toilets, and I walked over to the bench. The bathroom was luckily deserted.

"I guess this is all pretty traumatizing for you." Lyn-Z commented.

"A little," I sighed, "I passed out on the plane before; I don't want to pass out again!" I muttered to myself. I took a deep breath, and then splashed my face with a little water. Lyn-Z walked over to me, and propped herself against the bench.

"I hear you sorta exploded during one of the flights." She said conversationally. I blushed, "I guess that was probably the easiest way to let the press get to know the new, Way. Very dramatic, too! Kudos." The bathroom door creaked open, and a geeky young woman walked in. We both froze. She was mumbling something about being misled by rumours, or what not. My heart almost stopped beating, when I realized she was talking about the band standing outside. She had about twenty _My Chemical Romance_ badges on the bag, slung over her shoulder. She was also wearing glasses, in the same style of Mikey's old ones.

The fan looked up at us, suddenly realizing she wasn't alone. Looking at me, I saw the colour drain from her face. Lyn-Z grabbed my arm, and we bolted for the door. We sped all the way back to the group of celebrities.

"Fuck!" Frank said, noting our expressions, and our hurried movements.

"Time to move!" Mikey commented. We all grabbed our things and hurried out into the parking lot. We found our way to the cars that we would be travelling in. Ray, Bauer and his wife hopped in one car, and sped off. Frank, Jamia, Mikey and Alicia hopped into another car, and waited for us. Lyn-Z, Gerard, Bob and I all hopped into a car similar to Frank's and we drove off in convoy.

After about an hour, I hadn't seen Ray's car anywhere!

"Er…Where'd Ray speed off to?" I asked.

"He's headed off on his sorta honeymoon. He'll be gone for a while." Bob informed me.

"Oh." I replied, lamely. It was mostly quiet after that, and I started to get bored. So I decided to pull out my trusty laptop, and entertained myself. I put my headphones in, so I didn't annoy anyone, and started Photoshopping some random pictures, then putting them into a slideshow. Once I had completed that task, I was still bored, so I started dubbing video clips – it was always amusing to see your favourite singers sound funny. I was in a chipmunk mood, so the voices were very amusing, to me, in chumpmunkian.

"You are such a computer nerd!" Gerard said from the front seat. He was twisted around in his seat, so he could look at me.

"You can talk." Bob said defending me. Lyn-Z smiled to herself, but kept her eyes on the road, and Frank's bumper.

"Uncle Jiggy," I whispered to myself, smiling. Bob started laughing, and I blushed.

"I'm your dad, not your uncle!" Gee joked, "What have made this time?"

"Meh, more random clip things. Nothing very interesting."

"Still think that's fuckin' awesome how you do that!"

"Everyone can do it, it's not hard. Except when you're trying to dub _Famous Last Words_, then it's hard!"

"Yeah," Bob chuckled, reminiscing, "I got terrible burns from filming that."

"You also nearly died, you fucking idiot!" Gerard told him, disgraced.

"I hate fucking hospitals!"

"Hang on! What the fuck do I sound like once you've fucked up my voice?" Gerard asked me suddenly.

"I'll show you." I said, pulling my headphones out of my computer so the speakers would work. Bob leant over my shoulder and watched as I picked out a song, "Erm…what do you want to hear? I've got _Black Parade_, _Teenagers _and _I'm Not Okay – _that one took _a lot _of work! What do you wanna hear?"

"Is that it?" Gerard asked surprised.

"The others are on my main computer at home."

"You have too many computers." Bob observed.

"Maybe so, but just pick."

"Er…Teenagers?" Gerard decided

"Ooo, swearing chipmunks!" Bob laughed. I guessed that he had been watching me work. I opened the file, turned my sound up and played the clip.

When it finished, the whole car was filled with laughter. Even I started giggling.

"That was so good!" Bob managed, between bursts of laughter. "You had it lined up and everything! He looked like he was singing like a fucking animal!"

"The new sound of MCR!" Gerard said inspirationally, like it was a title.

"My Chem get 'munked!" Lyn-Z laughed.

"Can I see another one?" Bob pleaded.

"Yea- fucking laptop!"

"What?" Gee asked, gaining control over his laughter.

"Fucking battery died on me. Ah well, I must now hunt down a new means of entertainment."

"Hang on; Frank's pulling over." Lyn-Z informed us. We stopped on the side of the road. Everyone was confused. Gerard opened his door, and I could hear someone yelling.

"Do you guys always fight this much?" I joked, trying to hide my fear.

"Mikey, please!" I heard a female screech.

"What the fuck?" Gerard leapt out of the car, and ran over to the other. I followed him, curiosity taking over.

"Why'd you do this, Ali? You could've ruined everything!" A male roared back – I guessed it was Mikey. Frank jumped out of the car, frustrated.

"I refuse to sit in there, with them yelling at each other!" Frank told us, as he stormed past. I followed after him, as Gerard went to sort his brother out. Frank started kicking around in dirt, away from the cars. We were in a sort of desert area, in almost no-man's-land. It felt good to finally stretch my legs, after hours of sitting, but the dust and dirt and coldness of it all, made it not so pleasant.

"What's happening?" I asked, after he'd had a few strikes at the ground.

"Alicia's the one who tipped the press off about us being in Australia. She also tipped them off about us in LA. Now Mikey's pissed because you nearly had an asthma attack, and the sudden leaving in Australia could've totally depressed you – according to him." He explained.

"Me again?!" I screamed, "Can't you people fucking argue over something other than me? ARGH!"

"Hey, calm down." Frank stopped making dust clouds, and came over to give me a soothing hug. It made me laugh, though, because I was a good three inches taller than him, and I was still growing! "Don't you say a fucking word about my height."

"I'm not saying anything, just _thinking_ it." I giggled, then Frank and I silently walked back to where Mikey was blowing his cap, again. Alicia was crying, and begging him to forgive her. _Oh. My. God! _I thought _This is sooo cheesy! Like a bad soap opera!_

"Ugh!" I groaned. "Honestly, you guys should do an Ozzy Osborne, and have your own fucking show. This is seriously like a bad soap opera!"

"Trust is important when you're trying to stay incognito!" Mikey told me angrily.

"What happened has happened. You can't change the past, but the future is coming, and we're spending it on the side of the road fighting!" My speech (or rather rant) was cut short, when I realized someone was playing guitar. I turned and found Frank sitting on the bonnet of the car, which I had been in for the past few hours. He was just leaning back against the windshield, playing something that sounded very familiar to me, but I knew it wasn't a My Chem song. My eyes zeroed in on my notebook in has lap.

"Frank!" I yelled, "That's my fucking notebook!"

"I know," He smiled, "It's fucking interesting." He played a few more chords, then asked, "Will you sing it?"

"Not now!" Jamia groaned.

"Besides, you're not playing it right!" I told him, walking over.

"I'm reading what you wrote!"

"That's not what's in my head, is it?" I held my hand out for the acoustic. He rolled his eyes, and handed it over. I leant back against the side of the car, and started strumming out a hardcore chord progression. I stopped, then the rhythm slowed, and I started singing the melody.

_There's an angel floating by_

_Under the fucking sky-eye_

_Rumoured as our protector_

_Then why do we all_

_Die! _

I played another little guitar solo, then stopped. "That's how you do it!"

"Woah! Dude! That'd sound fucking awesome on an electric!"

"Hell yeah, it does! But I've only tried that once. It's fucking hard to get my hands on an electric guitar. I had enough trouble teaching myself how to play-"

"You taught yourself how to play guitar?!" Frank asked, amazed. I nodded, "But that can't be fucking possible! You play almost like a fucking pro!"

"Well, a few years back, I knew this guy. We were really close. He was really good at guitar, and he showed me a few things."

"Do you two jam?" Frank asked. My eyes saddened, and a lump formed in my throat. I swallowed hard.

"It's kind of hard to jam with a ghost." I said quietly. The rock mood disappeared, and transformed into concern, confusion and sorrow. A tear escaped my eye, and ran down my cheek. I handed the guitar back to Frank, and studied the ground instead.

"I'm so sorry I asked." Frank said sympathetically.

"Don't be. It had to come up sooner or later. Besides, it's been two years; I should be over it, right?"

"Wrong!" Gerard said, wrapping me up into a tight, comforting hug.

"We still mourn our grandmother." Mikey told us.

"You liked him, didn't you?" Lyn-Z asked, from behind me.

"I was the nerd, he was the cool guy. He got sucked into drugs, alcohol, and all that shit. He died of an overdose. When he didn't come to school one day, I was confused. Then counsellors came, and all that crap, and I just didn't understand. We had dated for about three months, and, as I said, we were very close. I still miss him!" I sobbed into Gerard's chest.

"It's okay, Jay! It's….it's okay…"My father murmured soothingly, as he rubbed my back.

"Come on, we'd better get back on the road." Mikey told us. We released each other and got back into the car. Gerard was in the back with me this time, with Bob in the front driving, while Lyn-Z sat next to him. After we had been driving for about twenty minutes, my stomach grumbled, loudly.

"I keep forgetting to eat!" I sighed. I had cheered up quite a bit from our stop over, but my mood was still tainted with gloom.

"Do you want a chicken sandwich?" Bob offered.

"Gross!" I screeched. Poor little chicken.

"Turkey? Ham?" Bob tried.

"Do you have cheese or something without an animal on it?" I asked shuddering.

"Don't you eat meat?" Gerard asked me.

"God no! I've been vegetarian since I was two!!"

"Oh God! Another Frank diet!" Bob sighed.

"Let me get this straight: You're short-sighted, vegetarian, asthmatic, your best friend died, you love our band, you play guitar and you can sing. Anything else?" Gerard said, listing out my characteristics.

"You missed the fact that you will _never_ get me, even in the same room as a needle – especially if it's a small room. Plus I'm claustrophobic. Oh, and I'm a nerd, and social reject"

"You're not a-"

"Come to my school, and you wouldn't say that."

"You know, she's like everyone in the band mushed together." Lyn-Z observed from the front seat.

We stopped after another ten minutes and had something to eat. Then continued to drive on into the night. I started feeling sleepy – amazingly all the mentality of events had reset my body clock. Gerard was still in the back with me, and he sung me to sleep again. He must've thought I was sound asleep – which I almost was – because he leant over and kissed my forehead, then whispered quietly, "I love you, Jay. Every part of you." Then I sunk into a deep sleep.


	10. New Jersey

10

10. New Jersey

"Crap!" I said, opening my bag to a pile of wet clothes. I dug around, and pulled out my drink bottle. Almost empty. I sighed.

"Who pissed in your bag?" Frank laughed, examining the situation from over my shoulder.

"I need a shirt! Ugh!" I dug around some more and found one mostly-dry T-shirt. On the front it said, 'Mikey. Fuckin'. Way!', "Of course that's the only one that's not soaked." Frank laughed again. I sighed, stood up and walked to the bathroom to get ready for the new day. I put a hoodie over the top of the shirt, but I was too hot. I didn't feel the cold, even though it was miserable and freezing outside. I walked back into the room, that I was sharing Bob. We had arrived at the boys' recording home. It was where they created all their works of art. Frank had come in to wake us up. Bob, Frank and I all headed into the kitchen space together.

"Nice shirt!" Alicia giggled as we entered. I blushed. Mikey turned to look, and laughed as well.

"All my other clothes are wet. My drink bottle leaked!" I said, trying to justify the embarrassing top.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Jamia asked, kissing Frank on the cheek, then heading over to the fridge.

"I'm going to go see what Gerard's up to." Frank said, leaving the room before anyone could answer.

"He left in hurry. Where's the fire?" I asked light-heartedly.

"Smoking club." Alicia told me, with a disgusted tone.

"I think it's getting worse." Lyn-Z commented sadly.

"Well, let's have some breakfast!" Bob said, changing the subject. I walked over to the fridge, and pulled out a carrot. I pealed it then started munching on it.

"You look like a fucking rabbit." Mikey joked.

"You look like a fucking vampire." I teased, as he took a bite of bacon.

"Maybe I am…Want a bite?" Mikey taunted again, offering a piece of bacon to me.

"That's really disgusting! Poor little piggy!" I said, turning away.

"Mikey, stop teasing her. That really is foul." Frank told him.

"You're back quick. Did you two fight?" Bob questioned suspiciously.

"No no!"

"You ran out of fags, didn't you?" Jamia asked him incredulously. Frank looked down guiltily. She sighed.

"That is so gross!" I screeched. "You guys smell like a fucking fireplace! But worse!"

"They taste worse! Trust me!" Lyn-Z said. On her face was a look of mock seriousness.

Frank headed over to the fridge, and pulled out a bunch of containers. I watched him as he concocted something. When he was finished, he handed me a plate. Then sat down, next to me, with a plate of his own. He had made a very yummy looking salad.

"I can't even get the toast out of the toaster! This looks delish. Thanks."

"Hey, no problem. It's good to have another person who understands." He said. As he spoke, his breath drifted towards me, and I smelt smoke. As I inhaled the smoke, I began to cough.

"You okay?" He asked sending more smoke coated breath my way, I started coughing even harder. My breathing became uneven. Mikey stood up, and quickly scurried out of the room. Frank started patting my back. I stopped coughing, but I still couldn't breathe very well. Mikey returned, and thrust my puffer at me. I inhaled deeply, and gratefully caught my breath.

"So much for practically never using that thing. That's twice this week!" Bob exclaimed.

"Smoke." I said. Frank looked down guiltily again. He pulled out a packet of mints, from his pocket.

"I'll go give these to Gerard." He stood up and left the room again.

"Are you okay?" Jamia fussed.

"I'm fine. Didn't expect that."

"They really should stop. It stinks everything up, and it's no good for you." Lyn-Z muttered, maternally, bringing me a glass of water.

"Thanks." I said, before sculling the glass. Frank and Gerard returned, as I finished off my breakfast.

"You feeling alright? Frank told me about the little…incident." My dad asked the second he entered the room, but he stayed away from me.

"I'm fine. You don't have to avoid me like I'm a disease." I told him.

"I do if I make you sick, literally." I sighed, and walked over to him instead.

"Dude, chillax! You just downed half a packet of mints!" Frank said, noticing it when Gerard tensed.

"I also just used half a packet of cigarettes." He muttered to himself, not that this stopped me from hearing it. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who'd heard him.

"I knew it was getting worse! You're going to give yourself cancer! Both of you!" Jamia told them.

"Can we not have this discussion again?" Frank groaned.

"I don't think we have enough time," Gerard said, looking at the microwave clock, "We've got to get over to my parents house, otherwise they'll start freaking out."

"We're going to meet your parents?" I asked, astonished. This was happening very quickly.

"Yes, so you'd better get ready!"

"Oh, and wear your glasses, not your contacts." Mikey added.

"Why?"

"Because I can tell they're driving you nuts. Mum and Dad won't give a fuck if you wear glasses. They'll probably go all retarded about it, because I used to wear glasses."

"Whatever." I said rushing out of the room and returning to my soggy bag. Luckily it was only my clothes that had been soaked in the flood. I took Mikey's advice, and wore my glasses instead of the irritating contacts. I straightened my hair – with someone else's straightner – lined my eyes lightly, and brushed my teeth. I sprayed myself with deodorant – another inherited fault, I guessed – and walked back into the bedroom, to put away my toiletry bag. Frank was there, again.

"Are you like starting to stalk me or something?" I joked.

"Gerard seems of the opinion that you like me. Don't know why though."

"Well, it _is_ fun to hang around you, but that's probably because you're so random. I like you all though."

"That's good to know. We should have a jam session sometime. Here, you dropped this." Frank handed me a guitar pick. The pick was my most prized possession. Dean had given it to me on Valentines Day – the day that he had died. "Oh crap! _He_ gave it to you, didn't he? Fuck! I'm such a fucking asshole."

"Yeah, but don't be upset with yourself. I probably shouldn't even hold on so tightly to the past. I just don't want to ever forget."

"Did you…love him?"

"I don't know. I think I did. But my memories have become clouded with fantasies. This pick is the most special thing I own. I know it's sort of materialistic, but it was the last time I saw him, felt his warm skin, felt his lips on mine…" I touched my lips, remembering Dean's perfect kiss.

"Jadis?" Frank asked, breaking me out of my reverie, "I'll try not to bring him up again. I'm sorry. You'd better go."

"Okay." I said quietly. I followed Frank out of the room. We walked outside, and under the front porch I saw a nice collection of cigarette butts. I hopped into the car and Frank went back inside, to the others. Lyn-Z and Alicia were in the front. Mikey and Gerard were in the back.

"Hey! You stole my look!" Mikey exclaimed, as I put my seatbelt on.

"_Ex_-look. And I would look like this all the time, if mum'd allowed me even near a hair straightner. She hated it whenever I wore my glasses, too. But _I _hate it whenever I wear my contacts, they fucking drive me nuts! I hate things touching my eyes."

"Join the club." Mikey chuckled. I looked over at Gerard, sitting farthest away from me. He was studying his knees, avoiding me.

"Fucking talk to me! You're not going to kill me!"

"Sorry." Dad mumbled.

"Babe, talk to her. All you're doing is being paranoid." Lyn-Z told him.

"Motivation to quit smoking!" Mikey said, overenthusiastically.

"The weather's nice." I mentioned in a stupid attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah…don't worry we're here." Alicia said to me.

"That was quick!"

"It's good that they live so close."

"Come on, Jay. It's time for you to meet your grandparents." Gerard said, hopping out of the car.

"Let's go, Uncle Mikey!" I giggled. Mikey rolled his eyes, and slid out after me, "Wait!" I said, stopping at the door, before anyone could make our presence known, "My shirt!"

"Don't worry. They'll love it, and they'll love you, Jay – just like I love you." My dad said, finally loosening up a bit. He casually slung his arm over my shoulders. He even kissed the top of my head. All the same, I zipped my hoodie up to cover the print.

"I love you too, dad." I told him, as Mikey rang the doorbell. Mikey and Alicia stood sort of in front of me, holding hands. Lyn-Z stood on my other side. It was almost as if they were guarding me. The door opened to reveal, a short, plump, blond-grey lady.

"Mikey, sweetie! I was starting to worry!" She said hugging Mikey, and giving him a wet kiss on the cheek. The greying woman had a slight accent, Irish I think.

"Missed you too, mum." Mikey laughed.

"Good morning Alicia." Mikey's mum said, kissing her on each cheek.

"Mum," Gerard said, trying to get her attention. She let go of Alicia, and looked at her eldest son. "Mum, I'd like you to meet Jadis, you're granddaughter." The woman looked at me for a moment, then gave me the same reaction as everyone else: she gasped.

"You are a very naughty boy, Gerard Arthur Way! But, she is still a beautiful young woman. Hello, Jadis. I'm Donna, but you can call me Gran if you like." I shook her hand, "We'd better get inside; it's much too cold out here." She ushered us inside, and closed the door behind us. "Donald! You're children are here!"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm coming! Don't rush me, I'm old." An elderly man walked out to greet us. He looked a lot like Gerard, and had a mild Italian accent, "Hey boys!" He punched his fist with Mikey, then with Gerard, "Morning girls." He greeted Alicia and Lyn-Z, "And you must Jadis. I'm Donald, or Pop. How are you?" He asked, resting his soft eyes on me.

"Good thankyou. Actually, I'm scared shitless, but…Oh! Excuse my bad language!" I babbled.

"No prizes to who guesses these two have been swearing nonstop." Gran said, looking at the boys accusingly.

"You know us too well, Mama." Gerard smiled. Mikey gave her a cheesy grin also.

"Now boys-!" She was about to lecture them when Pop cut in.

"Let's go into the kitchen and get to know each other, over a nice cup of coffee." He walked off, and we all followed him. We sat down at a large table, and Gran went off with Alicia to get the drinks. Everyone was silent while they were gone.

"So why are you so scared?" Pop asked, finally breaking the silence.

"It's just a little overwhelming really," I replied, "My family was always Mum, my dog and I. Now I have a dad, an uncle, grandparents! It's crazy!"

"I'm glad we can finally meet you, Jadis." Pop said, as the girls came back with two trays. They carried seven mugs of boiling water, and sachets of coffee, hot chocolate and tea. There were also some biscuits, a container of sugar, and a jug of milk. They set the two trays on the table, and everybody took a mug. I pulled out a hot chocolate sachet, and two biscuits. As everyone settled again, I nibbled on my bickies. I took a sip of hot chocolate, and basked in the warmth of it, as it slid down my throat. I let out a soft moan of pleasure. Delicious. With that warmth coming from within me, I realized how cold I'd actually been. Now with the added warmth of my grandparents' home, I started to feel hot. Unthinkingly, I unzipped my hoodie, and rolled up the sleeves.

"Mikey James Way!" Gran started.

"What now mum?" Mikey followed his mother's gaze, and sighed, "It's a word on a shirt! All her other stuff got wet." Mikey groaned.

"We're here to get to know one another, dear. Not to lecture the boys about language." Pop told Gran in a persuasive tone. Gran sighed, and gave in. We spent the next few hours talking and learning about each other.


	11. Electric Guitar And Jam Sandwich

11

11. Electric Guitar and Jam Sandwich

We left Gran and Pop's at about lunch time, and headed back to the house, where the others were. I grabbed a banana and headed back to the room I was sharing with Bob. I finished off my banana, discarded the peal, and pulled out my sketch book. I started doodling some funny little cartoon things, and finishing off other drawings. At one point, I set my sketch book down, and headed off to the bathroom. When I returned to the bedroom, Bob was on my bed, flicking through my sketches.

"Hey! Do you guys not understand what privacy is around here?" I asked, storming up and snatching my drawings back.

"We don't perve on you, do we?" He countered.

"I most certainly hope not!" I screeched.

"Before you explode, I was sent to ask if you wanted to jam."

"What? Seriously? Fuck yes!"

"Good! Let's go." Bob stood up, and led the way to a small practice space. Before we left the room, I grabbed my pick. Frank's face lit up as we entered the room. He had his guitar slung over his shoulder; Mikey stood behind him with his bass guitar in hand. They were both plugged into amps. Mikey was tuning up, and I just looked around in awe.

"Stop gawking! Do you wanna play or not?" Frank asked, laughing at my amazed expression.

"Uh huh." I said absentmindedly. Frank handed me an electric guitar, which he plugged in for me. I put the strap over my head, and let it just hang there.

"Helooooo! Earth to Jadis!" Mikey called to me. I snapped out it, held the guitar properly, and started playing a few power chords. My fingers then moved to a chord and played two quavers. I changed the chord and played another two quavers. I did this a few times, then started playing the intro to _Famous Last Words_, without even really thinking about what was going on. When it was time for Gerard to start singing, again, my fingers slipped. I shrugged and sat down on the amp.

"You never fail to amaze us, Jadis." Bob remarked in awe.

"How'd you learn that?" Mikey asked, astonishment in his voice.

"I'm a total dork. I listened to the song like 50 million times, and then eventually learnt it by ear." I confessed.

"You learnt that by _ear_?" Frank asked incredulously.

"That _is _what I just said, Frank." I told him, annoyed at his disbelief that I could accomplish such a task.

"Know any others?" Mikey smiled. Without saying anything, I started belting out Ray's solo in _Dead!_.

"Hey! That's Ray's solo!" Bob yelled over my guitar, in mock anger.

"I can play it better!"

"No way you can! I could play it better than you!" Frank argued

"Prove it!" I stopped playing, "Frank Iero, I challenge you to a solo off!" I called, a large grin on my face.

"Challenge accepted." Frank gave me an evil grin, and took hold of his guitar.

"Rules are: You have to have one good improvisation, and play one solo that you have learnt, prior to this challenge. What ever solo you decide to play, I'll play and Vice Versa. There will be three rounds, best two out of three." I smiled mischievously, "You go first." Frank started playing out a wicked riff. Then he started playing Ray's solo from _I'm Not Okay (I Promise)_. I guessed that it was one of the solos that he knew best. He finished, and looked at me expectantly. I held the guitar, and improvised a hardcore melody. I saw Bob's jaw drop, but continued concentrating on my playing. I played the solo Frank had played, and finished with a strong power chord. Looking up from the neck of the guitar, I noticed the open mouths of the guys.

"You guys catching flies?" I asked smiling, very proud of their reaction, even if it was creepy and wierd.

"Who's judging this?" Frank wondered aloud.

"I will." Gerard and Mikey said at the same time, raising their hands.

"I'll judge too. That way there'll be a deciding side to the voting." Bob told us.

"So who won that round?" Dad asked quietly.

"I think that was Jadis." Mikey voted.

"I'm going with Frank." Bob added.

"Um…" Dad thought for a moment then turned to me, "Sorry Jay. I think that was Frank." I shrugged.

"My turn!" I squealed. I played another hardcore improvisation, then went into a serious solo from _American Idiot_. I'd obviously caught Frank off guard by playing a non-My Chem song – perfect. I finished, and Frank did his best to copy the solo, but because he was so annoyed with being suprised, his improvisation was a little off. He ended shakily.

"Woah, dude! She totally owned you that time!" Mikey laughed.

"Jadis!" Gerard voted.

"I agree." Bob said.

"No more Mr. Nice-guy." Frank said evilly. He played a freakin' awesome improvisation, then headed straight into a solo, which I didn't recognize. I studied him very carefully, noting every movement, melody and rhythm. I kept a cool head, and stayed confident throughout my improvisation. When I got to copying his solo, I did my best and in the places I was a bit unsure, I added my own fills. I finished off confidently, regardless of the fact that it hadn't been perfect. Frank looked satisfied.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" Mikey exclaimed, "Have you been getting our stuff illegally?" This confused me.

"What the fuck are you on about?" I asked, in a very puzzled tone.

"That's material we wrote last week. We haven't even recorded it!" Bob explained in the same amazed tone.

"So that's why I haven't heard it before!" I muttered, understanding finally.

"Wait, you mean you just did your best to copy that from hearing it once?" Dad asked, finally joining into the conversation.

"Yeah. I screwed up quite a bit, but I practice fills and improv a lot, so I sorta covered that."

"I vote Jadis!" Bob said abruptly, raising his hand to emphasise the point.

"I second that vote!" Dad agreed.

"Ditto." Mikey said, looking at Frank apologetically. I gave Frank a very big grin.

"Still say you're better?" I taunted

"How can you play like that? You're only 14!" Frank babbled, finally getting his mouth to work.

"I played to rebel against my mum. It gave me the want to be fantastic. Plus you lot are my idols. Learnt everything I know from you, and a little from Dean." I swallowed hard against the golf ball in my throat. Frank gave me a sympathetic look, "So now that I've beaten your rhythm guitarist in a solo off, what are we going to do next?"

"Are you some sort of bionicle-woman?" Bob joked.

"My God! You guys are such nerds!!" I laughed.

"Well, we're going to practice a little – we've got an appearance thing next week. What are we even going to play for that?" Mikey started thinking, answering my previous question.

"Untitled?" Frank suggested.

"Don't _you_ even know the name of it?" I laughed.

"It's changed like twenty thousand times! I can't keep up!" Bob explained.

"Let's call it _Boa-tacular Pie_." Gerard decided randomly.

"What the fuck?" Mikey laughed.

"You and your boas!" Frank laughed as well. The guys started planning the appearance. While they planned, I turned the amp down and played some random tunes. I worked on getting my fingers gliding across the fret board smoothly. I jumped and fell off the amplifier, suddenly, when Gerard put his arms around me.

"Holy shit!" I squealed as he swung me around. In a swift movement, he removed the guitar from around my neck and put it on the ground. I laughed as he cradled me in his arms. "Are you ok?"

"Of course." He smiled, "We have this interview next week, and we've decided – if you're fine with it – that you should come." I stared at him in horror.

"You've already let the world know you're with us, you might as well let them get to know you!" Mikey complained.

"I-I-I g-guess I c-could…" I stuttered.

"It'll be ok, Jadis. Why are you so worried?" Frank asked, walking over to where dad was holding me in his arms.

"I'm a very shy person?" I tried. He gave me a look which said he wasn't buying it, "Just thinking about all the people who are going to see me," I shuddered.

"_You_ get stage fright?" Bob asked in disbelief. I nodded shyly.

"What's there to be scared of?" Mikey enquired.

"I dunno. I'm really self-conscious I guess." I blushed.

"Forget about what people think. I learnt a long time ago not to give a fuck about trying to fit in. If people don't like me, fuck them! We weren't born to be puzzle pieces." Dad said enthusiastically. He hugged me tightly as he put my feet back onto the ground. Kissing my forehead he added, "You're beautiful, Jadis. People _should_ love you. If they don't, they're fucking idiots!"

"Thanks." I mumbled, looking at the ground shyly.

"Ok. Well, we should practice what we're going to play. But without Ray, we'll need a fuckwit stand-in." Frank muttered, more-or-less to himself.

"What are you going to play?" I asked, intrigued.

"What are _we_ going to play?" Mikey corrected, implying that I was going to play with them.

"Wait…what?" I looked at them all. They looked back at me, their eyes telling me what I refused to believe. "No way! No, no, no, no, no, no! I am _not_ playing in front of…NO!" I said, in a frightened but strong voice, backing away slowly. I backed up against an amp, and fell on top of it. I sat down and crossed my arms in frustration.

"Jadis, curiosity killed the cat." Frank said randomly.

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" I asked.

"I mean that people are going to get very curious about how you are involved in the band. They're going to start to stalk you and shit. You might as well show them your talents."

"What? You want me to chuck my sketch book and crap into the audience?" Frank crossed his arms, "I'm not performing!"

"We _do _need a stand in for Ray…" Bob muttered.

"Well, get some tall scary man with a fucking freaky fro, and who is fucking great a guitar. Do _not_ look at me!"

"That's a brilliant idea, Jadis!" Mikey exclaimed.

"That wasn't an idea! That was a no!"

"Can you play all of Ray's solos?" Gerard enquired.

"Pretty much."

"Then why not?" Bob wondered.

"I…don't want people to judge me." I sighed. I allowed my head to flop down and my arms fall to my sides.

"Jadis, why do you care so much?" Dad asked, walking over and kneeling down in front of me. He took my hand and looked into my eyes.

"I've always been…rejected, really. I want to fit-in." I mumbled.

"Fitting is fucked up. If everyone 'fit-in' the world would be black and white, and totally boring." Frank commented.

"If everyone 'fit-in' then no-one would fit-in; everyone would stand out. It all depends on how you look at it: is the glass half full, or half empty?"

"Good point." Frank sighed.

"How about this: You practice with us, and if you feel you can, you play. If not, we get some tall scary man with a fucking fro to play." Gee suggested.

"A fucking _freaky_ fro." I corrected.

"So, it's a deal?"

I sighed, "Fine." We shook hands.

"Yay! Let's play!" Mikey said, happily throwing his hands in the air like a poof. We played until it was dark, and would've continued if the girls hadn't come down and dragged their husbands away.

"So did you have fun today?" Lyn-Z asked me. We were lying in the grass outside, watching the stars. Gerard and Mikey had been there a few minutes earlier, but went inside to see what Bob and Frank were laughing about. Alicia had quickly followed, worried that if it was something stupid, Jamia wouldn't be able to handle it by herself.

"It was pretty fucking awesome." I smiled, "I'd only ever dreamed of something so cool!"

"Was your room really as 'fanned up' as Gee says?"

"Probably worse. He's too nice." I blushed. We heard the door open and close behind us, and people walk out. It was Gerard, Mikey and Alicia. They had a big bag of marshmallows with them. They sat down next to us, and we sat up.

"Hey Hon. What you talking about?" Dad asked, sitting down next to Lyn-Z and pecking her on the lips. Mikey opened the bag of marshmallows. I took one, and ate it slowly. I started thinking: I was surrounded by my ever-growing family. I was probably going to play on a TV show next week, and I was about to be introduced to the world!

"Jadis?" Mikey called, waving his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I snapped out of it.

"Are you okay?"

"No, Mikey. I'm not oh-fucking-kay!" I groaned as I flopped back onto the grass.

"Smooth." Alicia giggled.

"What's the matter, Jay?" Gerard enquired.

"I'm scared shitless." I sighed, then noticed something move in the bushes close by. "What the fuck was that?" It moved again.

"BLAH!" Frank roared jumping out of the bushes, and practically giving me a heart attack.

"Fucking hell, Frank! Don't scare me like that!" I screeched at him, though I doubted he cared what I was saying – he was almost falling over he was laughing so hard. I stood up, while he was still cacking himself, and strode over to the porch. Looking underneath, I selected a harmless spider, but a large one none-the-less. I cupped the arachnid in my hands and walked back to where Frank 'stood' laughing.

"Hey, Frank." I said. He managed to stop laughing long enough to look at me. "I found you a nice pet. He's nice and whiney" I opened my hands to him, and showed him the spider.

"Holy motherfucker!" He screamed running backwards into the bushes and falling over. I dropped the spider and started laughing myself. Frank straightened up, "That wasn't funny."

"You're right. That was hilarious!" I managed before bursting out in laughter again.

"Okay, you two. I think it's time you both caught some Z's, before you catch a cold. It's freezing out here." Jamia called from the doorway to the house. I looked at my family sitting in the grass.

"It's a good idea, Jay. We're going to be working hard tomorrow. You don't want to be tired." Dad told me, hopping up himself, then helping Lyn-Z to her feet.

"Yes, daddy." I said sarcastically. Dad followed me inside. I went and got changed into my black skull/rockstar pyjamas, after a having a warm shower. I brushed my teeth, and returned to the bedroom. Dad tucked me into bed, and kissed my forehead gently, before singing me to sleep.


	12. Interview

12

12. Interview

The rest of the week we practiced long and hard. The guys were very pleased with my guitar skills, and by the end of the week were ecstatic at how well the group sounded, even without Ray. Frank was a little bummed that a fourteen year old girl could play Ray's part, but he still had to play rhythm. I offered to swap, but he said he'd probably get confused.

I started freaking out about ten minutes before the interview. We were standing backstage. On my face was about enough make-up to cover Australia, and I was wearing a random outfit some weirdos shoved me into. The second my breathing went wacko, Mikey was by my side with my inhaler – as always.

"Why do you always carry this thing around with _you_?" I queried, after inhaling and catching my breath.

"You leave it around everywhere." He shrugged.

"That's because before I met you lot, I basically never used it. Probably because my life was so quiet and lacking in adventure." I replied.

"Just relax. You're going to be in between Gee and I, and we're going to be further to the back than normal. Further you are away from the interviewer, the less you have to talk."

"I'm still scared shitless. Why am I doing this? It's so stupid!" I was beginning to panic.

"Jay, chillax. Go with the flow. Everything will be just fine." Frank said confidently, walking up beside me.

"Sure, you can say that! You've been out there so many times, you probably don't even notice the cameras are there anymore!"

"Just be yourself. Cool, calm, collected, crazy. Be Jadis Way." Frank told me. His words managed to soothe me a little, but I was still tense. A nice large knot twisted in my stomach, making me feel sick. Dad came over to me, and held my hand tightly. A little man with wires all over him, came over and asked us if we were ready. When we all said 'yes' he muttered something into a walkie-talkie, and soon qued us on. I clung to my dad's arm so tight I was surprised he didn't complain. We shuffled out in order of our names being called. When my name was called, along with Mikey and Gerard's, my heart started beating so loud, it _must've_ been audible. Dad stroked my back, comfortingly. I took a deep breath, and stepped out into the studio. The live audience started screaming. It reminded me of what I used to do when I imagined meeting _My Chemical Romance_. For some reason, the screaming fans made me feel more comfortable; like I belonged, and was accepted. I sat down on a long couch, in between dad and Mikey, as I had been told. Dad didn't let go of my hand, and this calmed me as well. I flashed a quick glance at the interviewer. She was a pretty, blond lady. She saw my eyes flash at her quickly, and gave me a sympathetic smile. Instantly, she started rambling to the guys about records, and tours and junk, so I tuned out. I leant my head against my dad's shoulder and relaxed, like they'd told me to. I only came back to reality, when I heard my name. Looking around, I realized everyone was staring at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry. I missed that." I felt my cheeks turn scarlet.

"I was just wondering, what is it like to now that you're Jadis Way, daughter of rock star Gerard Way? How did you react to the news?" The interviewer asked me, gently.

"Oh! Well… It's kinda scary. I've always been a sort of nobody. When I walked into my living room and _he_ was sitting there," – I indicated Gerard sitting next to me – "I sorta freaked out."

"Actually, she believed she was dreaming." Dad corrected, making me blush even more.

"Clearly you're not dreaming." The interviewer smiled, "So what are five quick facts about you, Jadis?"

"Umm…I wear glasses," – I pointed at my specs on my face – "I'm asthmatic – dunno where that's from. I'm freaked out by anything that even resembles a needle. I'm vegetarian. And…" I thought for a moment, "Everyone calls me Jay. I dunno" I smiled.

"How long have you been a vegetarian?"

"Since I was two. Animals are my favourite kind of people." I smiled, honestly now.

"So, Gerard, what was _your_ reaction to meeting Jadis?" The interviewer asked, turning to face Gerard more.

"I was worried, excited and actually quite embarrassed. I'd never seen her in my life, so when I saw her for the first time, and realized how much she looked like me…" He trailed off. I hadn't noticed him being as embarrassed and nervous as me that day.

"Finally, does this mean that MCR are going to change, now with added responsibilities of a teenager? Or are you still the same, free, crazy guys that you were a few weeks ago?"

"We're not changing." Frank told her.

"If we do, it won't be because of Jadis. Probably because we want to try a different perspective to our music." Bob added.

"Well, thank-you _My Chemical Romance_, for coming out here today to talk to us. Can't wait till your new album is released."

"No problem." Mikey told her humbly.

"We leave you, America, tonight, with _My Chemical Romance_ playing their soon to be released single, _Untitled_. So long, and goodnight!" The interviewer closed the interview, and we all got to our feet and walked over to the stage area. Frank picked up his white Gibson Les Paul,Mikey grabbed his bass guitar, Bob headed over to the drum kit, and I slowly put the guitar strap over my head. Nervousness started to overwhelm me. Asthma began to kick in. _Crap!_ I thought. I retrieved my asthma inhaler from my pocket, and inhaled. All the guys laughed, and I gave them each an annoyed glare. I walked up to my mike, and looked over at my dad. He looked back at me and gave me a small nod. I nodded in return, signalling that I was ready. Bob hit his symbol, to give us the time, and then we began playing. The second I strummed my first chord, instinct took over. I felt like I was invincible, and that I was alone in my room again. The rebellious feeling I always got when I played, flew back to me. It ran through my veins. Dad started singing, and I put in the appropriate back up. Before I knew it, it was my solo (well, Ray's solo, but I was playing it). I belted out the chords perfectly. The crowd roared, and I felt like I was on top of the world. Nothing could ever compare to the amazing feeling being up there gave me. Too soon the song ended, and the crowd cheered louder – if that was possible. We all beamed at each other, placed our instruments down and walked off stage, leaving the roaring crowd behind us.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it, Jadis?" Gerard whispered in my ear.

"Are you kidding? That was fucking awesome!" I whispered back, trying my hardest to hide my excitement and not scream at him. Outside, we were greeted by the roar of another crowd, and hundreds of people trampling each other, in an attempt to get closer to us. I laughed at how pathetic they looked, but then realized that, once upon a time, I would've only dreamed about being in that crowd, and getting close to MCR. The guys allowed a few crazed fans to thrust pens and paper at them. But we left the scene pretty quickly. Security escorted us to a car and we drove home, with a few more car changes on the way to throw off media, and paparazzi.

When we arrived back at the house, the guys were pumped, and so was I. Frank entered the house and screamed.

"I take it you guys had fun?" Jamia smiled, kissing Frank hello.

"Jadis rocked them!" Frank screamed. I blushed. I didn't think I'd been that good.

"I wasn't very good! Besides, it's Ray's job; not mine." I told them, modestly.

"Jadis, accept it. You were awesome!" Mikey said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Fine, I was ok. But you guys will sound better when Ray's back."

"Don't underestimate yourself! For a fourteen year old, you pretty much fucking rock!" Dad encouraged, as he walked in with Lyn-Z. He had traces of lipstick on his face…and neck.

"Dad," He turned to face me, "You got a little," I point at my neck, where he had lipstick, then at other places around his face. He blushed slightly, as he hurriedly wiped it off. Bob started making tutting sounds at him, as if he was disgraced.

"Hey, Jay?" Frank asked to get my attention. I looked over at him. He had his arm around Jamia's waist; it was so cute!

"Yeah?"

"Did you like fall asleep in the interview?" He suppressed his laughter at the thought.

"Not totally. My eyes were open, but I was not in the same room." I shook my head, and Frank burst into laughter. "Does he always laugh so much?" Honestly, Frank seemed to laugh at practically anything that happens to me.

"You're just a funny girl, Jadis." Mikey muttered.

"I'm surprised she didn't force more out of me." I commented.

"What do you mean? Like more about you?" Bob wondered. I nodded in response.

"We sort of surprised them with you." Dad smiled childishly, "So she wasn't totally prepared. Her questions were pretty basic. I could tell not much thought or research had gone into them."

"Research?" I asked, surprised at the fact that there _is_ actually some work involved, in being an interviewer.

"Of course. Nothing worse than not even knowing the basics about whom you're interviewing!" Frank laughed again.

"Oh my God, Frank! Shut-up!" I yelled at him, exasperated.

"Do you want to go to bed, Jay?" Dad asked, as Bob escorted Frank out of the room. The level of noise pollution decreased rapidly.

"Adrenaline is pumping through my veins. I don't think I'd be able to sleep." I replied.

"Go have a shower and get ready for bed, anyway. Maybe the process will relax you." He suggested. I nodded and went to the bathroom. After showering and completing my nightly rituals, I clambered up into my bunk. Dad came in and sung me to sleep. Dutifully, I sunk into a deep restful sleep. All the fatigue and exhaustion came over me in a warm comforting blanket, sending me deep into a dream world of my creation.


	13. Bathroom Trip To The Gurney

13

13. Bathroom Trip To The Gurney

**Gerard**

Jadis grabbed her hoodie, and messenger bag. She came over to me when she was ready. My wife stood on my right, happily. I gently placed my arm around her waist, surreptitiously pulling her closer. Mikey and Alicia stood close by in the entrance hall. I opened the door, and we stepped out into the miserable autumn drizzle. Lyn-Z and Alicia had decided that a nice day out would do us good. A little family bonding time, they'd called it. So we tramped our way down the street on our way to God knows where.

"Here we are!" Exclaimed Alicia, as we stopped in front of a small little café. Inside were merely a few elderly couples, who didn't pay any attention to us.

"This is Ali's favourite café." Mikey groaned in my ear.

"It's so cute, and quaint! I love this place!" Alicia clapped her hands excitedly. The eager movement triggered an eye roll from Mikey and I. We shuffled into the tiny place apprehensively; but were grateful all the same for the warmth inside. We got a few gawking stares from younger customers around us, but nobody really cared who we were. _At least that's one good thing about this place_ I thought. We sat down at a large table and ordered some hot drinks. The beverages arrived, and I took a nice sip of coffee. Jadis sipped appreciatively on her hot chocolate. The group relaxed, and we started chatting.

After about twenty minutes of chatting, Jadis stood up abruptly.

"What's the matter, Jay?" I asked her, concerned.

"I need to go to the bathroom." She told me, wriggling. I stood up and followed her to the ladies room. I stood outside, leaning against the doorframe. I listened intently. The slightest sound of disaster, and I would be in there.

After what seemed like a reasonable amount of time to go to the toilet, Jadis still hadn't returned. I started to panic. My hands shoved the door open and I rushed into the women's bathroom. My heart leapt to my throat. Jadis was slumped against the wall, blood all over her. Her eyes were shut and the only movement was her chest moving with her deep laboured breaths. Beside her, her glasses laid, smashed. I reached for my phone, and buzzed Mikey.

"Dude what's-" Mikey stopped midsentence, as he wandered into the bathroom. His eyes fell on Jadis. Honestly, I was frozen. My eyes brimmed with tears, and I felt them run down my cheeks, but I couldn't move to her side. All I did was stand there, dumbfounded, and wishing that I was dreaming.

"Mikey?" Alicia called from the hall outside the toilets. Mikey managed to tear his eyes off Jadis, and go talk to Alicia. While he explained to Alicia the situation – and hopefully called an ambulance – I succeeded in directing myself over to Jadis' side. Kneeling down beside her, I gently grasped her bloody hand. I could just feel her weak pulse.

It wasn't until Mikey put his hand on my shoulder, did I realize he was there. As I looked up at him, I noticed that Alicia was with him, crying. Just as I stood up, a team of paramedics ran in. They gently lifted Jadis onto a stretcher and took her to an ambulance. I jumped in the back, and Lyn-Z followed. Together we rode to the hospital.

We were forced to stay in the waiting room, as they rushed Jadis into the emergency room. The entire time I was huddled up in a dull, old chair. I had my knees pulled up to my chin, and I was fighting back the tears that threatened to over flow. My wife sat next to me, comforting me throughout the wait. It was soothing having her presence, but I just wanted to curl up in a corner, and weep. During the wait, Mikey arrived with the others. Together, we sat and waited impatiently.

After what seemed like hours, a greying doctor walked out and spoke to us.

"She is in a stable condition," He told us. I thought this was good news, but the doctor didn't look happy.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, unwilling allowing curiosity to get the better of me. I dreaded what he had to say. I didn't want him to answer; but part of me did want to know what was going on.

"She's in a coma. She suffered a large amount of head trauma. She also has a few broken bones. Nothing too serious, but there is a possibility that she may suffer some sort of amnesia or concussion. We can merely hope for the best, I'm afraid." The doctor explained sadly.

"C-can I see her?" I choked out.

"Right this way sir." The doctor motioned for us to follow. I did so, followed by Mikey and Frank. The rest of the group hung back, considerately.

The elderly doctor led the way down long corridors, twisting and turning. That horrible sterilized hospital smell filled my lungs. I hated this place. Finally, the doctor stopped in front of a door with a small sign reading 'Jadis Way. 14'. The doctor left us as we entered the brightly lit room. Jadis lay in a hospital bed, needles stuck into her arm. The sight sickened me, but my phobia could act up later. She was hooked up to all sorts of machines, bleeping and buzzing. If I hadn't known better, I would've believed that she was merely sleeping. The blood had been cleaned away, and she looked more like my Jadis again – except for the many bruises that covered her skin.

"Are you ok, bro?" Mikey asked me, gently placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Who would do something like this?" I thought aloud.

"Either, a crazed fan or hater." Frank muttered in reply. Mindlessly, I plopped down in the chair beside her bed.

"Jadis, please come back soon. I miss you already!" I sobbed, taking her hand.

For the next few hours, friends and family came and went in sort of shifts, but I didn't move from Jadis' bed. At one point a nurse came in to check on her, informing me that she could probably hear me. I muttered things to her constantly after that. Enjoying a nice one-sided conversation.

"Hey, mate. We'd better head home. It's getting late." Frank said to me after hours of me just sitting there mumbling. I nodded solemnly, and our decimated group exited the hospital.

Once we walked through the front door, I headed straight to the fridge. Opening the door I pulled out a bottle of beer, and skulled it.

"Gerard! Put that bottle down!" Mikey told me sternly. I ignored him, discarded the empty bottle, and grabbed another. Mikey tried to wrestle it off me, but failed. So, I skulled it as well. He ran out to find someone to assist him. In his absence, I finished off another two bottles of beer. My grasp on reality began to slip away.

_Perfect_ I thought _Just the effect I was hoping for._

"Give me that!" Lyn-z snatched my fifth bottle out of my hands.

"I woz drinkin' dat!" I protested, slurring my words. Mikey pulled my arms behind my back. I watched helplessly as Lyn-Z poured my source of painlessness down the kitchen sink. When she finished her gaze was a satisfied and pissed off look. Mikey slowly released my arms, and I allowed them to flop to my sides.

"Now this is no way to deal with your problems!" Lyn-Z screeched, slamming the kettle on.

"I lick it!"

"You lick it?" Mikey questioned.

"Like!" I pronounced carefully.

"I'm not going to let you sink back into your funk! She's not going to die, hon!" Lyn-Z came over and tried to give me a hug, but I pulled away from her.

"What iv she does?" I sunk down and leant against the cupboards, lining the walls. The room was sort of spinning, but at least I wasn't hurting as much anymore.

"Get some sleep. It might clear your head. Drink this, and then you can rest and relax." She said calmly, bringing me a cup of coffee. I sipped at the drink, eventually finishing it. Then wandered outside to have a smoke. Frank was standing there, leaning his elbows on the railing. I lit up a cigarette, and took a drag. A nice, hangover headache, was beginning to throb, at the back of my head. Together, we stood, smoking in silence.

"So…you're going to drink away your problems again." Frank commented, angrily, breaking the silence. I sighed and leant my elbows on the railing as well. My head drooped and I tried to not get pissed off; they _were_ only looking out for me.

"Look, Frank, I'm weak." I laughed, but there was no humour in the sound, "I run and hide. I'm also tired, so if you don't mind…" I rotated on my heel to leave, but Frank placed a hand on my chest to halt me. I turned a pissed off expression on him. We stared into each others eyes, and I saw that he was scared and concerned. _Concerned for me? Or for Jadis?_ I wondered.

"Please don't-" He started, in a defeated tone.

"Don't want? Don't deal with this my own way?" I roared. Why was everyone trying to control me?

"You can't honestly say that's a way to deal with things!"

"Can I please just get some sleep?"

"You need to talk! You can't bottle everything up."

"You want me to tell you how I feel right now? I tell you! I feel like an idiot! I feel like I just killed my fourteen year old daughter! A girl that I barely know, and have practically just murdered, because I was selfish!" Tears began to cascade down my cheeks. "I feel like murderer." I whispered.

"Don't bring this back on yourself. Why do people always blame themselves?" Frank moved to beside me and hugged my sideways. I twisted around, and hugged him full on.

"Because people always need someone to blame, so they find a way to make themselves feel guilty; mostly when it's entirely not their fault." I explained.

"You always have an answer for everything." Frank chuckled as we released each other from the embrace. "But why don't you ever listen to yourself? Take your own advice!"

"Because I'm part mule." I joked, "I don't know. I need to clear my head. To think." I added sadly.

"Come on then, babe." Lyn-Z whispered into my ear, making me jump. She slithered her arm around my waist, and spun me around so I faced her. "You must be exhausted." She muttered, seductively. Once again, I pulled out of her grasped.

"Yeah, I am." I pecked her on the cheek, then walked off to bed.


	14. Nightmare

14

14. Nightmare

_I opened my eyes to an irritating bleeping, then gasped when I realised that Jadis was lying in front of me, on her white sheets. The bleeping began to get more prominent. Soon it became faster. Eventually, just before I could stand it no longer, it flattened out, into a single, continuous b__leep. I exhaled, but caught my breath again when I realised that the bleeping had been coming from Jadis' heart monitor. Doctors and nurses surged into the room. They started performing resuscitation on my dead daughter. After they had become hot and sweaty, the elderly doctor, from before, noticed my presence. He strode over to me in dismay._

"_No." I whispered as I took in his expression._

"_I'm sorry-" He started._

"_No!" I yelled this time._

"_Hon! Are you alright? It's okay. Everything's fine. Sweetheart?" The same doctor said to me. I slapped him hard across the face for saying such things to me. The doctor cried out, but it wasn't his cry. It was a female's cry; Lyn-Z's cry_

I sat bolt upright in bed. It was dark; late at night. Lyn-Z cowered beside me, clutching her cheek where my red handprint was appearing. After a few minutes of stunned silence, a light flickered on, and we looked up at Mikey standing in the doorway. His hair was all tousled, and he looked exhausted.

"What the hell's going on in here?" He groaned.

"Oh nothing unusual!" Lyn-Z replied sarcastically, "Just beating me up, of course!"

"I'm sorry, hon. I had a bad dream…" I mumbled, trailing off.

"Oh sweetheart! Are you having nightmares again?" She cried, wrapping her arms around me; forgetting her crimson cheek.

"Why are you worrying about me?" I yelled, making Mikey shush me. I continued quieter, "I just hit my wife, and Jadis is dying!"

"She's not dying!" Mikey told me sternly. "She can fight through this. There's nothing we can do for her. But we _can_ help you, bro."

"I don't want your fucking help!" I flopped back onto my pillow, and threw my arm over my eyes, to black out the light.

"Gerard-" Mikey started. He had moved to beside my bed.

"Just go! Go away…" I mumbled, cutting him off. Mikey sighed, defeatedly, and wandered back into his room, shutting the light off as he left.

"You need to deal with this." Lyn-Z started lecturing me.

"Just let me sleep!" I groaned. "I'm tired!" I lied. Last thing I wanted to do was go back to sleep, in fear of having the same horrible dream. I lay in my bed, until the early rays of sunshine flittered through my window's blinds. My mind ran like water in a river. At one point in the early morning, I started sobbing to myself silently. The idea of my very own daughter being beaten beyond life, it was just too horrible. When the sun had almost fully risen, I finally gave into my heavy eyelids, and they slid shut. Lyn-Z had already quietly snuck out of the room, believing I was asleep. Unfortunately, I'd stayed awake _too_ late. My band mates, friends and family, all shuffled around the house, completing their morning rituals. Footstep thudded behind the closed door. One set of thudding paused, and the door creaked open on its hinges. The footsteps entered the room, and strolled over to my bedside, apprehensively. I surreptitiously squinted through my eyelashes. Frank stood in front of me, looking awkward.

"Time to rise and shine, sleepy head!" He said, with mock happiness, as he gently shook me. Groggily I stared up at him. My eyelids felt like weights. "Fuck!" He exclaimed, observing my, no doubt, shadowed eyes. "Did you even sleep last night? You look dead!"

"I feel dead. I _want_ to be dead. I'd _rather_ be dead right now." I rolled out of the bed, and landed on the floor. Where I stayed. Too tired and lazy to bother getting up. Frank knelt down, and propped me up against the bed. I'd started crying again, not that I'd noticed – I was getting used to feeling tears on my cheeks. He started wiping them away with his sleeves.

"Fuck off!" I slapped his hands away, "I don't need to be babied!"

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Clearly, I was just being an asshole, but I couldn't help it. I was hurt and I just needed some relief. For some reason, Frank was supplying a source for that relief. I started trying to stand up, but my world started turning black. I swayed and fell back onto the bed. Frank plopped down next to me.

"You can get through this. And we're going to help you."

"I don't need your help! Besides, who said I _wanted_ to get through this?" I yelled.

"So you want to get drunk, snippy, and become a total dickhead?" He replied sharply.

"Damn it!" I scolded myself, "Look, I'm really confused and....hurt. I need some time for myself." Frank stared at me, uncomprehending. "I'm moving back to my basement. I told him simply. Again, I attempted to get to my feet, and again I swayed, more violently this time. I staggered forward, and bumped the bedside table, spilling water, and smashing the glass. I fell against the wall, and sunk to the ground. This time, when Frank tried to help me, I allowed him to navigate me to the kitchen. He gently sat me down in a chair, and then made us both a cup of coffee. We sat quietly, sipping at our drinks. Frank made an awesome coffee, but I couldn't fully enjoy it. He kept glancing at me, anxiously. Finally he spoke.

"Do you really think move out is the answer?"

"No. But I can't stand having her things in the other room. Knowing that she's so close, yet barely here." Frank opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Mikey.

"You two better hurry up. We're leaving in a few." He left the doorway, where he'd been standing.

"You know, you're being very selfish." Frank whispered.

"What?"

"_I_ called Gabby! _I _called Ray! Why? Because I didn't think you'd be up to it. And then you turn around, and treat us all like dirt! Do you not care about us? We're putting _our_ necks on the line for _you!_"

"Frank…I didn't know-"

"Didn't know, or didn't care?"

"I'm sorry! Ok? I've fucked everything up! I've got enough shit everywhere! And now you're adding more to that shit pile?" My voice trembled and I broke off.

"Gee, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. It's just…I think you moving out is really stupid."

"It's alright…"

I sculled down the last of my coffee, and ran off to my room to get changed. I slipped one of my many jackets over an _Iron Maiden _shirt, slid on a pair of black jeans, and pulled on a pair of boots. I grabbed my sunnies, and ran my fingers threw my messed up hair, as I bolted out the front door. The car was already in the driveway. I hopped in, and inside were Mikey, Frank, Lyn-Z and Alicia. Bob must've decided against visiting his torture chamber two days in a row. Frank was next to me, in the middle, with his think-framed, practically-never-worn, nerdy-but-still-looked-good-him, glasses, studying a newspaper. By the way he was hunched over the paper I could guess what he was reading.

"It's all over the tabloids?" I assumed.

"It's all over the tabloids." Frank confirmed. I sighed.

"Of course it is." I muttered to myself. We sat silently, the rest of the way to the hospital. Mikey, who was driving, parked the car, and we solemnly entered the horrible place. We were once again led down twisting, turning corridors, but this time in different groups. It was Lyn-Z, Frank and me; while Mikey and Alicia hung back. I sat in the same seat as the day before, and resumed my mutterings. I already missed my baby girl so much!

"Would you stay, right here?" I started to sing to her, shakily. I'd really gotten used to singing her to sleep, "Then I'll tell you, someone out there loves you. If you stay, right here, then I'll tell you someone out there loves you. If there's no-one, no-one out there. If there's no-one, no-one who cares." I choked on the last word, and couldn't continue singing. Instead, I grasped her hand firmly, and cried. Lyn-Z placed her own hand on my shoulder, and tried to calm me, but when I looked into her face, I saw that she too was choking on tears. This wasn't right! This couldn't happen to Jadis! It shouldn't happen to anyone! But it _couldn't_ happen to my daughter! I cried harder, almost breaking into hysterics.

"Excuse me, dear." A plump, humble nurse said, walking into the room with a small trolley of needles and other medical equipment. "I'm going to need to take some tests. I'm afraid you'll have to leave." She smiled kindly. Slowly, I got to my feet, and the three of us shuffled out, wiping away the traces of fallen tears. I was glad that I was away from the needles, but upset that I had to leave my girl, again. Lyn-Z squeezed my hand, as we navigated our way through the labyrinth of corridors. Finally, we managed to get back to the waiting room. Mikey and Alicia were clearly upset that they didn't get to see Jadis, but we left together, all the same.

True to my word, when we arrived back at the house, I packed my things, and prepared to leave. Frank, Mikey, Lyn-z, even Bob, tried to stop me going, but I kept my eyes set on leaving the place. Packing the last of my things into the car, I drove to my parents' house. When I arrived, they were clearly displeased with my way of running from my problems, but they allowed me to move back in all the same. Dad helped me carry my bags down to the basement, then left me to dwell on my thoughts. I locked the door behind him, so he couldn't disturb me. Flopping down onto my bed, I began to cry once again. Recently, seeing as I'd been crying so much, I'd gotten really used to the feeling of my face being wet. I reached underneath my bed, and pulled out a dusty bottle of alcohol, glad that my parents had never cleared this place out.


	15. Downunder comes to Upover

15. Down-under comes to Up-over!

And that's how it carried on. I would visit Jadis daily, then return to my drunken sanctuary. Soon enough, I became constantly drunk, barely remembering anything, besides Jadis' unmoving body, in that horrible hospital bed. I was constantly afraid of sleeping, since my nightmares, that were unimaginable, had returned, but worse. Because now, I was seeing Jadis dying, and I was the one killing her! I began to feel like I never stopped crying. My world became shrouded in grey, darkness, and gloom. Nothing seemed happy anymore. I had barely conversed with any of my band mates in weeks!

"Gerard Arthur Way!" Mama screeched, from above, thumping on my locked door.

"What?" I groaned. My head throbbed with a hangover, which I normally drunk off. I was surprisingly sober, considering…

"Open this door immediately!" I rolled out of bed, and loped up the stairs, to unlock the door. The tumblers had only _just_ clicked, when mum threw the door open, and yanked me out of the basement.

"What the fuck, mum??" I whined. The room upstairs seemed so bright!

"You are going to stop this nonsense!"

"What nonsense?"

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about! I know what you do when you come home! Don't try to deny it!"

"So what? What are _you _going to do about it?" I snarled, shoving past my mother, and walking upstairs. She scurried after me.

"Come back here! You will listen to me!"

"I'm 31 fucking years old; I don't _need_ to listen to you!" I marched into the bathroom, and slammed the door.

"That's it!" Mama yelled, as she stamped back downstairs. I really didn't care what was it, all I wanted was more alcohol. I wanted less of reality, and more of hallucination, more of the nothingness that the alcohol supplied. My phone went off in my pocket.

"What?" I answered, sharply, not bothering to see who was calling.

"Nice to hear from you, too," An oh-so-familiar voice responded. I searched my memory banks…_I know that voice! Who's that voice belong to?_

"Matt?!" I exclaimed.

"Hi, mate."

"Why are you calling?"

"Are you sober?"

"Why the fuck do you care?"

Matt sighed. "Because…Mikey called me, out of the blue, and told me about what was going on. I feel terrible."

"We haven't talked in how many fucking years, and you pick now, to tell me you feel terrible?"

"Yes..."

"Why the-"

"Because I did it!" He shouted into the phone. My heart stopped, I swear. "Gerard? Gerard? I'm sorry! I-"

"You better hope she fucking lives, Matt. Otherwise, I'll hunt you down, and hang your head on my wall."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a promise. You're lucky I don't hand you over to the police right now!"

"Why don't you? I _want _you to!"

"Because, I'm drunk. And the voice of reason isn't loud enough anymore." I hung up on him, sat down on top of the toilet, and cried. Why would Matt do something like this? Sure, he'd had a few run-ins with Ray, and we'd all had our fair share of fights, but murder?

"Gerard? Sweetheart? Your brother's on the phone." Mum called from the corridor. She opened the door, and saw me crying, "Oh darling! What's the matter? There, there. Come here." Mother cooed, pulling me into a comforting hug, as if I were still her five year old son again.

"I miss Mikey! And I miss grandma, Elena. I want my Jadis back!" I sobbed into my mama's shoulder, not really making much sense.

"Now, now, Gerard. Mikey's still here, and so is Jadis. And you know very well, that your grandmother will never _really_ leave you." She held my shoulders at arms length, and stared into my eyes. "You be a good boy, and talk to your brother." She handed me the phone.

"Mikey?"

Silence.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

I exhaled, shakily.

"Did Matt call you?" The question brought a new flood of tears to my eyes. "Gerard?"

"Yes, he called me!" I screamed.

"Oh my God! Gerard! What happened?"

"He did it. He…he…" I couldn't speak. Tears overwhelmed me, and I fell to my knees, bawling. The phone fell to the tiled floor, and mum retrieved it. She muttered something to Mikey, before hanging up. Comforting me, she led me to the lounge. My head started to seriously throb – I was already going into withdrawal! I needed alcohol! Fuck, I was a disgrace! Mama comforted me, as I cried my eyes out. A car pulled up outside, and I guessed it was my dad, coming home from golf. The door opened, but instead of my father walking in, my brother scurried over to me. Mikey kneeled in front of me, on the floor.

"M-m-mikey?" I spluttered, between gasping breaths. I was hysterical.

"Far out!" Mikey exclaimed, pushing some of my hair, out of my face.

"I m-m-missed y-you," I hugged my brother tightly.

"What happened? Why are you hysterical?"

"M-matt!" I managed.

"Matt? 'He did it'" Mikey mumbled. His head shot up suddenly, "Are you saying that _Matt_ did this to Jadis? The same Matt who _founded_ our band with you?!" I nodded feebly, "You _can't_ be serious! He wouldn't!"

"B-but he d-d-did,"

"I'm sorry, dear. Your friend, beat your daughter?" Mum asked me for clarification.

"He's n-no friend of m-mine!" I answered, standing up abruptly.

"Where are you going?" Mikey wonder, also getting to his feet.

"What the f-fuck d-does it m-matter?" I snarled. Actually, I was going back to my basement, to get drunk…er.

"I'm worried about you, Gerard! Everyone is! We haven't heard from you in two months, and you're not going to even talk to me?"

"We've exchanged w-words." I muttered, brushing past my brother. The short, gasping breaths continued, and I started to feel dizzy. I put my hand on the doorframe, of the living room, to steady myself.

"Are you ok?" Mikey ran over, and put a hand on my other arm.

"D-d-dizzy,"

"I'll help you to your bed. Maybe you should just sleep a bit."

"No!" I shouted, using every molecule of oxygen in me. I gasped for breath. Mikey put his arm under mine, and supported me down to the basement, whilst I caught my breath. He, gently, sat me down on my bed, and then scanned the room, disapprovingly. I avoided his eyes, like a small child in trouble. I'd fortunately managed to calm myself down, quite a bit, and was now in charge of my breathing again. But there was still an awful headache, throbbing behind my eyes. I could easily guess what Mikey was so dumbfounded by. The entire basement was littered with empty alcohol bottles, dirty clothes, and it was really just disgusting. I just prayed he wouldn't notice the little container of crack, which I'd only taken once, and wasn't planning on taking again any time soon.

"What's this?" Mikey exclaimed, walking over to my dresser – where the crack was. _Fuck!_ I thought _He's seen the drugs! Way to go and jinx it!_

"Mikey, I can explain!" I finally looked up at him.

"No, you can't. Don't start all this again. Don't go back to that person you hate! You'll end up being sent to rehab, and then what'll everyone think?" Mikey started crying now.

"Why are you crying?" I wondered.

"Because you're a mess, and I feel bad, and I hate seeing you so fucked up."

"Mikey, listen to me. I'm not stoned or high. I'm not that"-cough-"drunk! Don't cry for me."

"Why would you be stoned or high?" Mikey's look of confusion quickly turned into shock. "What have you done, Gerard?!" He shouted at me. _Shi-it! He hadn't noticed! Aren't I a fucking Einstein!_

"I _need_ Jadis, Mikey! Don't you understand that? She's dying, because I fucked up!" Mikey walked back over to the bed, sat down beside me, and put and arm over my shoulders, to comfort me. "Aren't I supposed to be the older brother, who comforts _you_?"

"You need to worry about yourself for once, bro. You _need_ to be selfish, just for a change."

"Me being selfish; that's what got me into this mess." I chuckled without humour; it was almost an insane sound.

"You had the right to know her. It wasn't selfish. She wanted this, as much as you."

"She wanted to die?"

"I didn't say that. Listen, you're either coming back with me, or I'm staying. I can't trust you to be on your own, at the moment."

"What are mum and dad? Ghosts?"

"They give you too much privacy."

"I like privacy."

"You do realize that Lyn-Z has been fretting about you constantly? At least if I was here, it would give her a little peace at mind. For your wife?"

"Only for Lyn-Z," I said, grudgingly, after a short pause. We shook hands on it. Mikey sentenced me to sleep, and mum to clean up my living space, whilst he went and retrieved some of his things. Mama was definitely annoyed at what I'd done. I eventually dozed off, reluctantly. Mama kept scurrying around, cursing under her breath, while she cleaned up my disgraceful mess.

_I stood in the centre of a bathroom. Jadis was standing in front of me, horror on her face. My family lay, dead, around me. I had beaten them to death. My fist rose, on its on accord, and struck at Jay.__ Again, again, again. I beat my only child. I wished, prayed, begged, that I could stop, but I was incapable of doing so. It was as if someone else was controlling my body. Finally, Jadis dropped to the ground, she writhed in pain, momentarily, then ceased. Everyone I loved was dead, and I had murdered them._

"_No!" I cried. I punched the mirror of the bathroom, and grasped a shard of glass._

"_I'll help." Someone said from behind me. I heard the person cock a gun. Slowly and carefully, I turned to see who it was, dropping the piece of mirror on my way._

"_Why are you doing this, Matt?" I asked, as I saw who else was in the bathroom._

"_Take a guess." He pulled the trigger, and the bullet zoomed straight into my heart. I jolted with the force…_

I sat up in my bed, panting, covered in sweat, regardless of the cold winter air. Mum had finished cleaning, and left. I could hear Mikey and her talking upstairs. A wave of nausea overtook me, and, without warning, I puked all over the bed. Mum and Mikey must've heard, because their discussion stopped, and I heard someone opening the door. As they walked down, I brought my knees up to my chest, and hugged them. _This is going to suck._

"Oh my! Are you alright?" Mama put her hand to her mouth. Mikey peeped over her shoulder.

"Mum, clean off his bed, and I'll clean him off." Again, Mikey took command. I was really starting to admire my brother's leadership skills. He escorted me to my basement bathroom, careful not to cover himself in spew. "How are you feeling?"

"Sick, disgusting, guilty, and I've got a headache."

"That's not _too_ bad."

"Mikey, I had a nightmare that I killed you all. I felt myself die!"

"Okay, it's worse than I thought." Mikey cleaned me off nicely. He then made me breakfast, seeing as I'd apparently slept though the night. I was just finishing my bacon, when the doorbell rang. Dad had gone out to golf again, so mum answered the door.

"Can I help you?" Mum asked the person at the door.

"Is this the Way residence?" A familiar, Australian-accented voice asked.

"Who wants to know?"

"Gabby!" I exclaimed, realizing the owner of the voice. Shit! If she saw me, she'd kill me! I looked to Mikey for help. Mikey darted out of the room.

"Where's your brother?" I heard Gabby question. There was a pause.

"Look, Gerard's not really up to seeing you right now."

"Why?"

"Because-" Mikey couldn't finish, Gabby cut him off.

"Because he's become an alcoholic wreck?" There was pause, "Look, Mikey, I'm here to be with me daughter, not to start a fight. I know basically what's been going on. Ever heard of Perez Hilton?" There was silence again, and then I heard the three of them returning to the kitchen. I tried, and failed, to smooth out my hair, and appear, not so much like a person in withdrawal, and more like a concerned father. Don't know how well that worked, but by Gabby's expression, when she saw me, I hadn't done too well. Silently, Gabby sat down at the table, opposite me. I took a sip of my coffee, staring into her eyes. She had big, blue eyes, very unlike mine or Jadis'.

"Are you going to stare all day?" She snapped.

"Sorry." I muttered, turning my gaze away. Mikey and mama stood awkwardly near the kitchen bench.

"Do you…" I looked up, as Gabby started speaking, "Do you know what happened?" She closed her eyes – probably trying not to cry.

"Yes." I replied, quietly. She looked at me expectantly, her eyes shining with tears. "I'd really rather not explain right now, if you don't mind. I only just found out myself."

"So the police have the bastard?" I shook my head. "Do you _know_ who did it?" I nodded. She looked around, confused. Mikey shrugged his shoulders, also not really understanding why we hadn't handed Matt over. I, personally, wasn't certain; I just knew that now wouldn't be the right time. Patience is a virtue.

"We're going to the hospital soon. You're welcome to join us." I mentioned abruptly. I stood, and went back to my basement, to fix myself up, before heading out in public.


	16. It's Time For You To WakeUp!

16. It's Time For You To Wake-Up!

"How can you stand this?" Gabby asked me. Her face was tear stained, and she was standing behind me, gazing at our daughter.

"I can't really. But I'll do anything for Jadis…" I replied. Mikey sniffled. He was leaning against a wall, looking miserable. For something to do, he started fiddling with Jadis' black and red roses. We had bought her the flowers, merely because Gabby wished it, and we both knew she loved black and red roses. The flowers washed the sterile scent away, slightly, and they managed to lighten the room, sitting on my girl's bedside table. I clutched Jadis' hand in mine, praying, with every part of my existence, that she'd wake up. Two months, she had lain in that bed. Two months, she had not moved. Too long…

"I should've never let her go!" Gabby cried.

"She wanted to come. Besides, I should've never let her out of my sight!" I said. The door, to the room, creaked open. The kind, elderly doctor, who had been caring for Jadis, walked in.

"May I please talk to you, sir?" He asked me. I stood up, and exited the room. The doctor looked worried, upset…uncomfortable.

"Is there something wrong?" My heart rate accelerated.

"In a way, yes," I stared at him, searching his eyes for more of an explanation. "By the looks of things, your daughter is most likely not going to wake up." I felt my eyes bug. This must've been another side effect of the withdrawal, or the horrible headache, throbbing behind my eyes.

"No!" I shouted.

"I'm afraid, that I'm going to have to ask you, to sign a form, allowing us to turn off her life-support." The doctor finished.

"No!" I cried. "I'm not going to fucking kill her!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Way. Besides, technically you're not killing her."

"I won't do it!"

"She's just taking up a bed, which could be used to save another life."

"Why can't it be used to save _her_ fuckinglife?" I roared.

"She isn't going to wake up! She practically is dead!" The doctor told me, harshly. We heard Gabby scream, from inside Jadis' hospital room. I spun away from the doctor, and hurried back into the room. I'd started to panic. Why the fuck would she be screaming in a hospital? Unless, Jadis really _had_ died.

"Gabby? What's the matter?" I questioned, heading straight toward her. She was staring at Jadis, her mouth gaping, one finger pointing.

"She-she moved! I swear!" Gabby looked at me, her eyes were bloodshot, and wet. I turned to Mikey.

"Did you see anything?"

"I'm not sure _what_ I saw. But I think I saw something." He said, quietly.

"Jadis?" I asked her, uncertainly. Her finger twitched slightly, I'm certain! "Jadis, sweetheart? Can you hear me?" The room was still. "Jadis, please. Just open your eyes. Open your eyes!" I begged. We waited, all staring at Jadis. Everyone gasped, as Jadis' eyes flickered a little, as if she were struggling to open them. I spun around, so I was right in the doctor's face. "She _will_ wake-up, and she _will_ stay here until she does." The doctor just looked dumbfounded. _Thank-you, Jadis, _I thought, _You just saved both of us._

The doctor, called a nurse, to tend to Jadis, and help her wake-up. Mikey, Gabby and I were sent to the waiting room, so they could make sure Jadis wasn't going to have a heart attack if she saw us. We sat, and waited. Mikey called the rest of _My Chemical Romance_, and told them of the progress. He didn't tell me if they were coming or not, so I sat tensely.

Ten minutes passed, and no-one had told us anything. The doors to the waiting room, slid open, and in strode Ray, Frank and Bob. I gave Mikey the death stare. He just smiled at me, proud of the fact he managed to piss me off. _Ugh! Brothers!_

"Hi." They all muttered in greeting, as they sat down next to Mikey; away from me.

Finally, a nurse approached us. She motioned for me, and me alone, to follow her. She led me back to Jadis' room. I hesitantly pushed the door open, and saw Jadis staring back at me. For the first time in two months, Jadis wasn't lying like a corpse in a coffin. She was actually _looking_ at me! There was a faint recognition in her eyes, but she looked mostly stunned.

"Jadis?" I whispered.

"Daddy!" She smiled. Her voice was weak, but you could tell she was happy to see me. I walked over to her side. The sound of her beautiful, Aussie-accented voice was pure music to my ears, and hearing her call me dad again…

"I missed you so much, Jay." I started to cry, as I held her hand, and she finally clung back.

"It feels like I've merely been asleep." She told me, softly.

"This better not be a dream. It would be the worst nightmare I've ever had."

"Please don't cry, dad. Don't cry for me." There was a brief silence, as Jay tried to wipe away my tears, but could barely lift her arm.

"Don't trouble yourself, sweetheart." I gently placed my hand on top of hers, and pushed her arm back onto her bed. Jadis looked at her arm, and her eyes seemed to pop out of her head. She had IV fluids and whatnot piercing her skin!

"W-w-why are th-there n-needles sticking out of m-m-my arm?!" She screamed; well, as well as she _could_ scream, seeing as she was so frail. The nurse, who had been observing us, from the doorway, scurried over to calm Jadis down, shoving me out of the way with her hip.

"Now, now, dear. They're there to help you." The nurse attempted.

"I'm I'm fucking t-t-trypanophobic!" She told the nurse, making me chuckle.

"What the hell is she on about?" The nurse asked, turning to me.

"She's afraid of needles and injections." I told the nurse, smugly. "Gets it from me," I added, proudly. The nurse gave me a dirty look, and turned back to trying to calm my daughter down. She wasn't succeeding. "May I?" I gently shoved back in front of the nurse, and took Jadis' hand again. I stared into my daughter's eyes. "Listen, Jay, you have to face and fight your fear. I know what it's like, and you _need_ to do this."

"What if I don't?" Jadis wondered, calmly now.

"You _have_ to, Jay. Otherwise, you mightn't be allowed to come home again." I spoke with a light tone, but my words were harsh and true. She understood what I was saying. "Try to forget that they're there."

"Come along, Mr. Way." The, disgruntled, nurse murmured, motioning for me to tag along behind her. As I turned to follow, Jadis grabbed my arm. I looked at her. She was scared.

"Do you have to go, daddy?" She asked me, looking like she was about to start crying. So innocent, young, scared, vulnerable…sigh. I sent the nurse a questioning gaze. She nodded.

"I'm afraid so, Jay. You rest." I kissed her forehead, as she nodded feebly, relaxing back onto her fluffy pillow. The nurse turned on me, right outside the room.

"When can she come home?" I asked her, before she could say anything.

"Most likely by Friday," she replied. Well that helped! I'd been drunk for two months! How was I supposed to know what day it was?

"What's the day today?" I questioned, embarrassed.

"Tuesday." She told me. The look on her face was that, fucking-rockstars-think-they-know-everything look.

"Got it,"

"The doctor will prescribe some pretty heavy duty painkillers, and he will most likely suggest a chiropractor, or something of the sort. Lying still, for two months, tends to gum up the works. She may have a bit of difficulty moving for the first few weeks." The nurse rambled on and on. I nodded politely, not really taking much of it in.

"Maybe you should tell this to her mum." I suggested, cutting her off.

"Your wife?"

"No, her mum, Gabby. I'm guessing that I've now lost all chances of Jadis staying with me. After this incident, I'll probably never see her again. There's really not much use telling me all this information." Tears, once again, stung at the back of my eyes. This time, not in fear of Jadis dying, or because of the guilt. It was because of the realisation, that I most likely wouldn't see Jadis again, ever.

"Oh," the nurse looked at me for a few seconds, then continued, "well…is she here?"

"Yes. She's in the waiting room. I'm sure she's dying to see her daughter again."

"Well let's go then!" The nurse herded me back to the waiting room. I pointed Gabby out to her, and she snatched her up, and disappeared back down the same hall.

"What happened?" Mikey asked, shakily. I realised I was crying again, and it probably looked like I was upset because something terrible had happened.

"Jadis has woken." I declared. Everyone's face lit up. Tears continued to trickle down my cheeks.

"Then why are you still crying, bro?" Mikey asked, standing up now, and putting and arm around my shoulders.

"Bah, I'm just a wuss!" I wiped away the tears, "Just so happy she's alright." I lied. I sat down in Mikey's seat; I was in between Frank and my brother. Frank eyed me wearily. I think he could tell I was lying. I sat in silence, while the others spoke intently about the day's events. Leaning one arm on the armrest of the chair, I held my head up with my hand, and closed my eyes. I opened them again, when I felt someone tugging on my arm.

"Come with me for a smoke?" Frank asked, as I looked up at him. I nodded, and followed him outside. We sat down on a bench, in front of the hospital, and both lit up a cigarette.

"How's everything been?" I spoke conversationally, regardless of the fact that I really wasn't in the mood for a conversation, right now.

"Besides from everyone constantly fretting over Jadis, everything's been fine." Frank looked at me, with a strange look. I vaguely remembered what that expression meant.

"That's good." I said. Wait…that look. There's something about that look! It _means_ something…

"No. It's not…" I heard him whisper under his breath. _He's lying! _I exclaimed, mentally. _That's his lying face!!_

"Frank, what's going on?"

"Nothing. I told you, everything's fine."

"No it's not! That's your lying face! You can never tell a lie, Frank Iero! I know you too well. What is it??" Frank sighed in defeat.

"Our band's falling apart, and you don't even have time for your brother, let alone your wife." Frank took a looong drag on his cigarette. Most likely, to avoid further questioning for the moment. He didn't have to worry. I was in a stunned silence. I too took a drag, just for something to do.

"Fuck." I said, eventually. We had both butted out our cigarettes, and were now just sitting there, quietly.

"That's one way of putting it." Frank murmured, standing up. I stood up also. My head throbbed harder, with the movement. I staggered around, and finally laid my hand against a brick wall, behind the seat.

"Ah, crap!" I felt sick, dizzy and disorientated. God, withdrawal sucks!

"Dude? Are you ok?" Frank put a steady hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Gerard…"

"You really need to listen to me! I'm telling you the truth! I mean this: I'm okay!!" I squeaked. I sounded utterly insane. What the fuck was wrong with me? Oh, yeah. I was going through withdrawal. _I need alcohol!!!_

"Trust me." Frank whispered.

"Sorry. I'm going crazy, I swear." I leant my head against the brick wall. Ahh, nice and cold against my throbbing headache.

"Maybe you should take an aspirin or something." Frank suggested, noticing my ill state.

"I'll manage. Jadis is back. Now there's no reason to keep hurting myself."

"Gerard, you weren't-"

"I mean, I can stop drinking now, because reality has gotten that bit better. But still, I feel like I need it to survive. I feel like shit, and it stops that feeling."

"You've gone through withdrawal before. You can do this! I know you can!"

"I went through it before, planning to never have to go though it again!"

"It can't be as bad as last time. You've had the experience, and you haven't been drinking as long as last time. We'll be there for you: the band, your friends, and your family!"

"We can do anything!" I laughed. It was the first time I'd genuinely laughed for months. Shit I'd missed Frank. He was always so upbeat and happy. It was nice how it rubbed off on everyone else.

"Frank! Gerard!" The two of us turned our heads to inspect who'd called us. Mikey was standing a few meters away, motioning with his hand for us to come. I slowly stepped away from the wall, and thumped my way to where my brother was standing.

"What's up?" I asked him, raising a hand to my forehead. My head was killing me! Much more and I'd have chopped it off!

"We're going home." He replied shortly. His abrupt attitude gave me the feeling something wasn't right.

"Is there something wrong, bro?" His eyes flitted about uncertainly. I understood that whatever it was, he didn't want to say it in front of Frank.

"Let's go then." I said to Mikey, giving Frank a look to say he should go back inside. He nodded curtly, as Mikey and I turned away.

"I'll drive." Mikey said, quickly jumping into the driver's seat. Once we got on the road, I didn't have much time to pry.

"What's happening?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"Ali called," he stopped at the traffic lights, and turned upset eyes upon me, "she thinks she's pregnant."

"Oh!" I understood his angst now. Another kid and _My Chemical Romance_ would be _My Sexual Fuck-up_, or better yet, _My Chemical Children_.

"I'm such an idiot!!" Mikey moaned, thumping his head on the steering wheel.

"Go," I told him. He lifted his head, and sped off. My head hit the back of the seat with the force, "Shit! Mikey, slow down," he shoved his foot on the brake, making me fly forward. "Maybe I should drive." I suggested.

"No!" He yelled, "I'm fine! I'm more than capable of driving! Stop babying me!!"

"Mikey, calm down. Take a deep breath. Now, you said Ali _thinks_ she's pregnant. So you don't know for certain?"

"No, not for certain," Mikey said, softer, but not calmer, "but it doesn't look good. She's been throwing up a lot, and she said she's 'late'. How could this happen? I-I-"

"How about you pull over, and we can talk about this, hey?" Mikey nodded slowly, and moved out of the way of the pissed-off-honking drivers behind us. He pulled into a side street, and parked the car.

"I didn't mean to! I swear! I was careful, it-it must be a mistake-" Mikey cried out, before he started choking on tears. My responsible brother had suddenly turned back into my baby brother again.

"It's ok, Mikey! Have you talked to Alicia about this?"

"Not really…"

"You two should talk to a councillor, and sort this out. I'm not really sure I can offer any good help. When I got Gabby pregnant, I ran away. You're not exactly talking to the ideal father." As I said these words, I remembered that I'd totally blown my chance with Jadis. A wave of tears started to overwhelm me, but I pushed them back, and refocused on my brother.

"Ok, we can work through this, right?"

"Right," If only I believed it. I drove Mikey home, then headed back to the hospital. I sat by Jadis, and we talked about everything that she had missed while she was 'sleeping'. I watched the days pass, too fast for my liking, as Jadis regained her strength. Soon enough, she would be flying home with Gabby. The truth saddened me, but I was so glad that my little girl was going to be happy, safe and healthy again.


	17. Home Again Home Again LicketySplit

17. Home again, home again, lickety-split.

**Jadis**

It was very weird feeling like I'd only slept for a few hours, when I'd been in a life-threatening state for months! Actually, it wasn't weird, it was disorientating. Dad told me about everything. He even explained to me what he'd done. I could see that as he spoke about his relapse, he wasn't proud at all. Some of the things he spoke of made me flinch, but I honoured my father's honesty. We started chatting about the weather, mum, Mikey's pregnancy scare – which turned out to be false – and pretty much anything. Turns out that dad had written a song about this entire incident! The conversation had made me feel so cheerful, especially when dad told me I'd be able to leave in two days! Then he dropped a bombshell on me.

"Jadis, darling," he held my hand, but avoided my eyes, "after this incident, even if your mother agreed to let you stay with me, I wouldn't let you. It's not that I don't trust you, or anything! I do. I don't trust myself enough. I know, 'I shouldn't blame myself,' but I do, and I don't want you to get hurt again."

"No." I whispered. I didn't want to leave my dad! Sure, I'd been in Jersey for months, but I hadn't really _been _here. Not consciously.

"I need to do what's right for you. I'm sure it'll also save your mother a lot of worry," he finally looked into my eyes, and placed a hand on my cheek. "Jay, I swear she'll go grey if you're away from her any longer."

"She already is grey!"

"That's not very nice!" But we both laughed all the same.

Two days later, I finally left the hospital. I drove home with dad in silence. He only said one thing, and that was that Matt had confessed to beating me, and was currently receiving his sentence. I felt relieved that my attacker had been found. It had been a nightmare not being able to remember anything from that day. We arrived home in a solemn style. I went to the room I'd shared with Bob, packed my things, returned to the entry hall.

"Look, Jay, I don't exactly love this idea either, but I'm doing this for you! You could at least _try_ to not be so…well, like you're at a funeral!" My father blurted, finally reaching boiling point at my mood. What did he expect? I loved him! I loved his music. I loved that he was my father. I loved the feeling of finally having a complete family again (even if it was technically not together). The fact was: I enjoyed having a mother _and_ a father.

"How do you _want _me to act?" I snapped, "Like the perfect daughter? News flash, daddy, I'm not! I'm the girl who grew up teased, bullied, thrown in the corner, and with a broken family! I've been through a fucking lot of shit, and I'm not even sixteen!" I took a deep breath, then continued in a more patronizing tone, "You abandoned me once, why did I think you wouldn't do it again? How stupid of me." I smiled seductively, but the grin was full of venom.

"Jadis-"

"Relax! She's leaving, you don't want to her to remember you as an asshole." Mikey told Gerard, putting a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

"Too late," I whispered to myself. "Listen to your brother, dad." I said loudly, for everyone to hear.

"Watch your sass, miss," mum scolded, entering the room.

"Well it doesn't help that you're making me leave the other part of me again!" I yelled at her.

"That's quite enough out of you!" Mum grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. The entire time my body shrieking in pain. "Sit in the car until I return. You better think about what you've done!" Mum slammed the door, and locked me inside. She then returned to the house.

"You better think about what you've done!" I mimicked, making stupid faces and rude signs at her back. After about twenty minutes, mum finally came back, and got in the car. She shoved a packet of painkillers into my lap, and sped out of the street, before I could even wave goodbye. I took my dose of drugs – not that it really helped – and stared out my window. I only realized something wasn't right, when we bordered a plane heading to Los Angeles.

"Um, mum?" I mumbled, awkwardly breaking the silence, "this plane isn't going to Australia." I pointed out.

"Who said we were going to Australia?" Mum asked me in a smart-ass tone – no doubt due to me earlier behaviour. I didn't say anything, "For your information, Ms. Know-it-all, we aren't flying back to Australia. I understand how hard it is for you to live without your father, so I've bought an apartment in Los Angeles. Gerard will be moving back to his house there soon enough. We'll be living merely five blocks away." I stared at my mum, dumbfounded. She pulled out a book to end the conversation. I listened to my iPod for a while, accepting that mum wouldn't talk anymore. I think a couple of people recognized me, but nothing to cause uproar. I couldn't believe mum had done something like this for me! It was amazing, and so incredibly sweet. Now I would never have to miss my dad. I wouldn't have to hide my love for _My Chemical Romance_. I wouldn't have to secretly practice guitar. All this for me, after I'd been such a bitch prior!

When we landed in LA, mum helped me off the plane; we retrieved the few bags we had, then jumped in a taxi. My body was constantly crying out in pain, but I ignored it. The taxi pulled up at an apartment building after about twenty minutes. We lagged ourselves up to our new home. It was almost midnight by now, and I was utterly exhausted. Mum flicked a light on, and I gasped when I saw my room: all my belongings where there. Every one of my posters, shirts...everything!

"Welcome home, Jadis." Mum said, smiling.

**A/N This is the final chapter of **_**You're My What?!**_** I hope you enjoyed Jadis' story! I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. It was my first ever fanfiction =D Also, it is the first story (that's not a one shot) that I've written, and actually **_**finished**_**! Thank-you for all the positive feedback, and I hope to hear more from you all soon! **

**Chemically Unstable Disco xxx**


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